Legsie
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 Posted 15th January 2010 12:09 IP   
Ok my serious head on here.
Just before new years my @O@Hs brother split with his bird (all his own fault checkin every move she made then smashing her house up) so he had to move back up here from Cambridge...he still had his flat but hadnt been paying rent so came back to an eviction notice...all his own fault.
Anyway as im good at arguing my point i told him i would help him with the flat so we got an appeal on the eviction and its been put off indefinitely as we all got snowed in, just waiting for a new date but have put him in touch with a housing solicitor who will be able to help him in court.
Now he is on and off with his misses (who is my mate too) all of this not an issue, my issue is that everyday since he been back he has been here moaning and whining about her and what he thinks she is doing or done...now im not the best at tea and sympathy at the best of times but im now getting to the point where i dont wanna answer the door.
I told him at the beginning i didnt want to be involved as she is my mate and he my BIL but he still goes on and on and you know what im really getting annoyed about it lol
Anyway how the hell do you tell someone to pee off but in a nice way, he muct know im fed up of it now cos when he comes i start tidying up and yesterday i tiurned the net off and pretended it wasnt working cos he just goes on FB and reads everything she writes and then moans about it....OMG i sound like such a cow but i really am not good at sympathy, see if he doesnt trust her should he not just move on.
Anyway rant over for now, not seen him today cos i never opened the blinds when i got back from school lol pathetic that isnt it, He and OH are not close so i cant lay it all on him really cos he will jsut tell him eff off lol
Guess its what i get for trying to help lol
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mrs miggins
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:30 IP
Hi Legsie
I would just sit him down and say that while you are happy to help him with his housing problem you don't want to get involved in the relationship and that includes listening to him whinge.
Each time he starts going on remind him he's not supposed to and then go and do something else. And lock up your computer!
Whatever fortune brings, don't be afraid of doing things
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blue-eyedspacemonkey
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:35 IP
Also maybe point out that him stalking her on facebook/whining to you is not helping his situation. He needs to sort it out with her properly. Emphasis on her, not you or anyone else. Plus putting you in the middle like this isn't fair on you.
"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes"
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Legsie
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:36 IP
Quote:
mrs miggins wrote:
Hi Legsie
I would just sit him down and say that while you are happy to help him with his housing problem you don't want to get involved in the relationship and that includes listening to him whinge.
Each time he starts going on remind him he's not supposed to and then go and do something else. And lock up your computer!
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I told him and i never ever give hi feedback cos if i did he wouldnt want to hear it anyway as i think she should get rid and be done with him.
i have a wireless button on my laptop i just press that if he comes now and say its broken, see he was sitting on my laptop whining about her and i has to watch cbeebies i mean WTF lol
I guess i feel bad as he has lost a lot but end of the day he did it all himself. And i hate being brought down anyway esp in my own home on a daily basis over the last few weeks, only so much a person can listen too really before it affects you.
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Jules
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:39 IP
^^^^^ these two have said it all.
I would tactfully change the sobject when he brings it up.... do it with a smile on your face but it should get the point across.
Failing all that get OH to tell him to eff off 
 I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
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Legsie
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:43 IP
Quote:
Jules wrote:
^^^^^ these two have said it all.
I would tactfully change the sobject when he brings it up.... do it with a smile on your face but it should get the point across.
Failing all that get OH to tell him to eff off
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Jules im loving this WKD side you have grown
As for changing the subject well we do....but it took the pee big time yesterday when he proceeeded to tell me n ?OH about phone sex they had had, i just lost th eplot lol, told him it was way way TMI and that i didnt want to know..bloody hell i dont even wanna know about my own brother let alone OHs...TBH its almost like he is trying to convince us and himself that they are going to sort it :/
TBH i hope they do so he moves back down there.
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Jules
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:49 IP
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
Jules im loving this WKD side you have grown
As for changing the subject well we do....but it took the pee big time yesterday when he proceeeded to tell me n ?OH about phone sex they had had, i just lost th eplot lol, told him it was way way TMI and that i didnt want to know..bloody hell i dont even wanna know about my own brother let alone OHs...TBH its almost like he is trying to convince us and himself that they are going to sort it :/
TBH i hope they do so he moves back down there.
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If she is your friend, do you think he is good enough for her?
I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
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Legsie
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:51 IP
Quote:
Jules wrote:
If she is your friend, do you think he is good enough for her?
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Nope, i thought he was but TBH untill they got together i hadnt really ever spoken to him....but after he has checked every move she has made (him telling me not her) and then smashing her house i would have gotten rid
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:53 IP
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
Nope, i thought he was but TBH untill they got together i hadnt really ever spoken to him....but after he has checked every move she has made (him telling me not her) and then smashing her house i would have gotten rid
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I wouldn't encourage them back together then. Do you see her much? Have you told her what is happening?
I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
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Legsie
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Posted 15th January 2010 12:56 IP
Quote:
Jules wrote:
I wouldn't encourage them back together then. Do you see her much? Have you told her what is happening?
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I not encouraging anything he gets no feedback what so ever from me.
As for her no i havent told her as its not her problem really is it, and if i did would i not be banging myself slap in the middle.
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Jules
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Posted 15th January 2010 13:04 IP
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
I not encouraging anything he gets no feedback what so ever from me.
As for her no i havent told her as its not her problem really is it, and if i did would i not be banging myself slap in the middle.
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true, you just have to keep getting it into his thick skull that you refuse to be drawn in
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Tony B Liar
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Posted 15th January 2010 13:12 IP
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
Ok my serious head on here.
Just before new years my @O@Hs brother split with his bird (all his own fault checkin every move she made then smashing her house up) so he had to move back up here from Cambridge...he still had his flat but hadnt been paying rent so came back to an eviction notice...all his own fault.
Anyway as im good at arguing my point i told him i would help him with the flat so we got an appeal on the eviction and its been put off indefinitely as we all got snowed in, just waiting for a new date but have put him in touch with a housing solicitor who will be able to help him in court.
Now he is on and off with his misses (who is my mate too) all of this not an issue, my issue is that everyday since he been back he has been here moaning and whining about her and what he thinks she is doing or done...now im not the best at tea and sympathy at the best of times but im now getting to the point where i dont wanna answer the door.
I told him at the beginning i didnt want to be involved as she is my mate and he my BIL but he still goes on and on and you know what im really getting annoyed about it lol
Anyway how the hell do you tell someone to pee off but in a nice way, he muct know im fed up of it now cos when he comes i start tidying up and yesterday i tiurned the net off and pretended it wasnt working cos he just goes on FB and reads everything she writes and then moans about it....OMG i sound like such a cow but i really am not good at sympathy, see if he doesnt trust her should he not just move on.
Anyway rant over for now, not seen him today cos i never opened the blinds when i got back from school lol pathetic that isnt it, He and OH are not close so i cant lay it all on him really cos he will jsut tell him eff off lol
Guess its what i get for trying to help lol
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He sounds like every womans dream.
Just tell him that your mate is better off without him
My life was in tatters because of my
obsession with the Okey-Cokey.
But I turned myself around and that's
what it's all about!
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Peter
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Posted 15th January 2010 23:56 IP
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
Jules im loving this WKD side you have grown
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Back to the serious stuff. You wrote in the first post:
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
Anyway as im good at arguing my point i told him i would help him with the flat so we got an appeal on the eviction and its been put off indefinitely as we all got snowed in, just waiting for a new date but have put him in touch with a housing solicitor who will be able to help him in court.
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From what you wrote you only said you'd help with the housing issue. You have done that - the way around this is to point out that this is what you said you'd help with and that the relationship is nothing for you to deal with. You can say that you are in a very difficult position because she is a mate and he your BiL and it isn't fair on you for him to expect you to be a sounding board for him under these circumstances.
Good luck 
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You can bet that he's doing it for some doll.
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JustNat
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Posted 16th January 2010 00:01 IP
Get the OH to talk to him, not necessarily tell him to eff off - but along those lines at least!
I'm sure you've got better things to do during the day than listen to him whine. Like, listen to us lot whine on here
http://www.doitforcharity.com/ngorman
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Legsie
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Posted 19th January 2010 14:00 IP
Quote:
JustNat wrote:
Get the OH to talk to him, not necessarily tell him to eff off - but along those lines at least!
I'm sure you've got better things to do during the day than listen to him whine. Like, listen to us lot whine on here
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innit though nat, he is keeping me away from here and that is never good lol
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JustNat
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Posted 19th January 2010 14:17 IP
Lol
Any updates on it, Legs? He fecked off yet?
http://www.doitforcharity.com/ngorman
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Legsie
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Posted 19th January 2010 20:43 IP
No he will always vcome round but he is getting the hint cos as soon as he goes to say anything i either leave the room or give him no response, so now he says very little to me about it which is good lol
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JustNat
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Posted 19th January 2010 21:33 IP
Lol, fair enough.
http://www.doitforcharity.com/ngorman
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irish_lass_in_london
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Posted 21st January 2010 00:21 IP
do u know what your mate wants outta the situation?
does she still even wanna be with him?
has she been hounding/whinging at you?
I'd just say it straight to him though. "look i understand ur hurt but if you keep putting me in this situation then i wont wanna have to choose sides"
tell him he risks losing ur help with the housing if he keeps bending ur ear.
wouldnt be too bothered about mentioning him using ur net though - sounds like you've already found a way to stop him getting on there. he dont need to know ur cutting the net off deliberately.
personally i'd run a mile and change my name to phillis if i had to, to get away from a bloke like that!
You put the moo in cow.
There is no moo in cow.
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Mark Mc
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Posted 23rd January 2010 16:51 IP
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
(all his own fault checkin every move she made then smashing her house up)
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Sound's like a right fookin James Blunt to me! 
He needs a good slap to be honest.
Everyone is talking about the closing ceremony at the Olympics and what was their favourite bit.
I just spoke to Nick Griffin, his favourite bit is today when they all fcuk off back home.
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Legsie
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Posted 27th January 2010 12:02 IP
Quote:
irish_lass_in_london wrote:
1..do u know what your mate wants outta the situation?
2..does she still even wanna be with him?
3..has she been hounding/whinging at you?
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Update on this My mate has been up this week and we have had a few nights n days out so have sort of got the jist.
1.. she wants to give hi another chance but as a LDR, she wont have him live there again as she has a child to think of, she givin him the chance as he is under a counciller and on pills now so wil see
2..yes she does for now.
3..hell no she doesnt ask my opinion as i told her she wont want to hear it, so she doesnt ask but thanks me for not taking sides and telling her to take him back.
Quote:
I'd just say it straight to him though. "look i understand ur hurt but if you keep putting me in this situation then i wont wanna have to choose sides"
tell him he risks losing ur help with the housing if he keeps bending ur ear.
wouldnt be too bothered about mentioning him using ur net though - sounds like you've already found a way to stop him getting on there. he dont need to know ur cutting the net off deliberately. |
he got the jist now and tells me nothing as i change subject,
Quote:
personally i'd run a mile and change my name to phillis if i had to, to get away from a bloke like that!
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Which is why she doesnt ask my opinion, get rid would be my answer,
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Legsie
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Posted 27th January 2010 12:02 IP
Quote:
Mark Mc wrote:
Sound's like a right fookin James Blunt to me!
He needs a good slap to be honest.
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Well got to give him his dew he is trying to sort himself, and as a SIL im saying good on you, but as my mates mate im saying your a tosser.
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shiny
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Posted 28th January 2010 07:49 IP
Quote:
Legsie wrote:
Well got to give him his dew he is trying to sort himself, and as a SIL im saying good on you, but as my mates mate im saying you're a tosser.
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That's a bit harsh Legs, Huggy was only giving his opinion!
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shiny
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Posted 28th January 2010 07:50 IP
Quote:
irish_lass_in_london wrote:
personally i'd run a mile and change my name to syphilis if i had to, to get away from a bloke like that!
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Well I've heard crazier names 
You can see it, but not from here!
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