funky_si
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 Posted 17th February 2009 13:27 IP   
It's unusual for me to ask for advice here, but I was hoping to get some opinions on a small problem which will come up.
My OH has been invited to a wedding/civil partnership of a friend (ex work colleague) of hers in June, and in fact all four of us have been invited.
I don't really want to go, but I'm more than happy for everyone else to, if they want to.
What, in your opinion, do you think would be the best way of getting out of it?
If you need more details, then please ask.
Thanks!
RE 1974-2011. Gone but never forgotten.
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JustNat
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Posted 17th February 2009 13:28 IP
First and foremost:
Why don't you want to go? 
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Ash II
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Posted 17th February 2009 13:29 IP
How does your missus feel about you not wanting to go?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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funky_si
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Posted 17th February 2009 13:33 IP
Quote:
JustNat wrote:
First and foremost:
Why don't you want to go?
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I don't happen to like her friend. Seems a bit silly for me to spend my weekend involved in all that ...
Quote:
Ash II wrote:
How does your missus feel about you not wanting to go?
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She doesn't know as yet, although she hasn't told me about the invite either. I happened to notice it mixed in with some other papers last weekend, so I'm trying to have an answer prepared for when I get 'told'.
RE 1974-2011. Gone but never forgotten.
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shiny
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Posted 17th February 2009 13:35 IP
Quote:
funky_si wrote:
I don't happen to like her friend. Seems a bit silly for me to spend my weekend involved in all that ...
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Is it too much to just go and grin and bear it?
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funky_si
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Posted 17th February 2009 13:37 IP
Quote:
shiny wrote:
Is it too much to just go and grin and bear it?
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I could do that, but I'm not great at grinning. I'm a bad faker and I'll just end up being a grumpy bastard, I know it.
RE 1974-2011. Gone but never forgotten.
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Ash II
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Posted 17th February 2009 13:38 IP
Quote:
funky_si wrote:
I could do that, but I'm not great at grinning. I'm a bad faker and I'll just end up being a grumpy bastard, I know it.
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OK, without knowing you or your wife, is she likely to be upset if you're totally honest?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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Jules
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Posted 17th February 2009 13:56 IP
Quote:
Ash II wrote:
OK, without knowing you or your wife, is she likely to be upset if you're totally honest?
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or relieved to have a weekend break from him 
How would you feel if she did the same Simon......scrap that thought actually, because us women think so differently
Be honest and say why, she may surprise you, but say if she really wants you to go you will and be pleased that she craves your company
 I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
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shiny
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:00 IP
Quote:
Jules wrote:
or relieved to have a weekend break from him
How would you feel if she did the same Simon......scrap that thought actually, because us women think so differently
Be honest and say why, she may surprise you, but say if she really wants you to go you will and be pleased that she craves your company
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wants you to suffer 
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funky_si
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:02 IP
Quote:
Ash II wrote:
OK, without knowing you or your wife, is she likely to be upset if you're totally honest?
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If I tell her, then she will probably want to know the reason why I don't like this person, and the key reason relates to things they said about me to my OH (and I'm not supposed to know about it, but I found out).
RE 1974-2011. Gone but never forgotten.
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Richie English
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:04 IP
Quote:
shiny wrote:
Is it too much to just go and grin and bear it?
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For the whole weekend? He's not exactly going to be a bundle of joy, is he?
The best thing is too simply tell the missus he doesn't fancy it - and why. And he'll only be a pain in the backside.
Si, pull out at the last minute with food poisoning. Get your wife to back you up on it.
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Richie English
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:06 IP
Quote:
funky_si wrote:
If I tell her, then she will probably want to know the reason why I don't like this person, and the key reason relates to things they said about me to my OH (and I'm not supposed to know about it, but I found out).
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Then you tell your wife exactly what you just told us - and tell her you'd be a hyporcrite if you went and exchanged plesantries.
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funky_si
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:09 IP
I'm trying to conjure up a 'conflicting appointment' on the same day at the moment. I really don't want to have to explain why I don't like her friend. It's not an issue normally as I hardly ever see them anyway (thankfully!).
RE 1974-2011. Gone but never forgotten.
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funky_si
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:11 IP
Quote:
Richie English wrote:
Then you tell your wife exactly what you just told us - and tell her you'd be a hyporcrite if you went and exchanged plesantries.
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I don't really want all that to come out, it won't do me any good. Normally speaking I'm quite happy avoiding her friend anyway, which isn't difficult. It would also implicate someone - which mustn't happen.
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Richie English
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:13 IP
Quote:
funky_si wrote:
I don't really want all that to come out, it won't do me any good. Normally speaking I'm quite happy avoiding her friend anyway, which isn't difficult. It would also implicate someone - which mustn't happen.
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I'd go with the conflicting appointment to save all the aggro then.
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Kathy Lees
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:19 IP
So this friend was biatching about you, you heard this through the grapevine.
Does your OH know, if not then why haven't you told her ?
Abortion - It sucks the life out of you.
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shiny
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:22 IP
Quote:
Kathy Lees wrote:
So this friend was biatching about you, you heard this through the grapevine.
Does your OH know, if not then why haven't you told her ?
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The friend was biatching to Si's OH
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JustNat
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:22 IP
Quote:
Richie English wrote:
I'd go with the conflicting appointment to save all the aggro then.
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A wee bit deceptive, don't cha think? 
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Ash II
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:26 IP
Quote:
shiny wrote:
The friend was biatching to Si's OH
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Seems a bit odd this person would slate Si to his missus.
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funky_si
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:27 IP
Quote:
Kathy Lees wrote:
So this friend was biatching about you, you heard this through the grapevine.
Does your OH know, if not then why haven't you told her ?
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Almost ... ... her and OH had some kind of conversation (maybe more than once?) while they were at work, which was heard by a third party - who relayed it to me about two weeks afterwards. I wasn't impressed by what this person said.
I think there's little point in discussing it as the context is history now (probably happened five years ago), but I've disliked them ever since for doing that.
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Kathy Lees
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:27 IP
Quote:
shiny wrote:
The friend was biatching to Si's OH
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So why didn't Si's OH tell him ?
Unless she was in agreement.
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Ash II
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:29 IP
Quote:
Richie English wrote:
I'd go with the conflicting appointment to save all the aggro then.
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What kind of conflicting appt though? It's the weekend, I don't think saying he's playing golf is gonna cut it.
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Kathy Lees
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:30 IP
Quote:
funky_si wrote:
Almost ... ... her and OH had some kind of conversation (maybe more than once?) while they were at work, which was heard by a third party - who relayed it to me about two weeks afterwards. I wasn't impressed by what this person said.
I think there's little point in discussing it as the context is history now (probably happened five years ago), but I've disliked them ever since for doing that.
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Well her wedding is the perfect time for your revenge.
It should be the best day of her life so you should go, be a right @rsehole and complain about everything !
Abortion - It sucks the life out of you.
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shiny
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:31 IP
Could something not go really wrong at work Si? Perhaps a new server just has to be installed and configured that weekend?
You can see it, but not from here!
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Richie English
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:32 IP
From my understanding the person you could possibly implicate - was the very same person who told you what the 'friend' said to the wife about you.
If that's the case, tell her what you heard - then ask her why she 1: never backed you up - and 2: why she kept it from you. Then, tell her you forgive her, but in return, she has to back you up with an excuse.
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shiny
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:32 IP
Quote:
funky_si wrote:
Almost ... ... her and OH had some kind of conversation (maybe more than once?) while they were at work, which was heard by a third party - who relayed it to me about two weeks afterwards. I wasn't impressed by what this person said.
I think there's little point in discussing it as the context is history now (probably happened five years ago), but I've disliked them ever since for doing that.
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Well where's the fun for us???
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Ash II
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:35 IP
Quote:
Kathy Lees wrote:
Well her wedding is the perfect time for your revenge.
It should be the best day of her life so you should go, be a right @rsehole and complain about everything !
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Yeah! Get drunk and get into a fight!
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Richie English
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:42 IP
I could always say I've blought him a ticket for the Chelsea game as a thankyou for sorting out IT issues.
If his wife calls me, I'll simply apologise and tell her I never knew that it conflicted with the wedding.
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shiny
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Posted 17th February 2009 14:44 IP
Quote:
My OH has been invited to a wedding/civil partnership of a friend (ex work colleague) of hers in June, and in fact all four of us have been invited. |
Say you find that civil partnerships make a mockery of the institution of marriage and that you'd find it too hypocritical/abhorrent to attend such a celebration
You can see it, but not from here!
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