Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
 
 |
 Posted 13th February 2009 15:20 IP   
*Sighs*
I don't know what it is but I'm just having such a awful time and no one to speak to. I've just been told about what is going to happen with my health problems and it's not good. I've got to self catheterise because I have retention. I'm devestated that I've got to do this in a sense that it is going to hurt and I've been lied to before and told no it won't hurt but in reality it does! Anyway, that's another story. What I DON'T need is stress from my mom now!
The situation goes like this: I ask her if she could help me with my homework (just a simple question that I am not sure about on it on the layout) and she then pulls a hissy saying it's not fair on her and I then don't know what I've done wrong as she promised me she'd help me but it keeps getting forgotten. I told her what I needed and she'd forgotten about what I'd asked her! Anyway, I feel fed up of being ignored...
I helped her and paid her money from my OWN pocket but yet I get treated like this?
I'm just sick of it now and will not tolerate it anymore. I used to have a better relationship with her but today I just don't feel like I want to know anymore.
I want a house of my own...
|
|
funky_si
Moderator
Add funky_si
to Buddy List
Posts: 14440
Registered: Jun 2006
 |
Posted 13th February 2009 15:29 IP
What's your homework question? - and which bit are you stuck on?
RE 1974-2011. Gone but never forgotten.
|
|
mrs miggins
Senior Member
Add mrs miggins
to Buddy List
Posts: 5031
Registered: Jun 2006
|
Posted 14th February 2009 00:05 IP
Poor Poke.
I hope the catheter thing is only temporary, it doesn't sound fun.
Do you mind if I ask how old you are?
Whatever fortune brings, don't be afraid of doing things
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 16th February 2009 21:14 IP
Hi, funky_si and mrs miggins. 
The bit of the homework I was stuck on was a part in my essay where they asked me to put [...] if the quote continued or I cut a piece off that I didn't put in. I wasn't sure if I was meant to put the [...] in where I had left out some words in the sentence and also if I was meant to put it if that sentence ended in a full stop but there was more in the paragraph that followed that I didn't include.
I too hope the catheter thing is temporary as I am certainly not looking forward to it! I have heard it can hurt but the specialsit registrar I saw said it wouldn't...
I am 20 coming 21 years of age.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
funky_si
Moderator
Add funky_si
to Buddy List
Posts: 14440
Registered: Jun 2006
|
Posted 16th February 2009 21:19 IP
Quote:
Poke01 wrote:
Hi, funky_si and mrs miggins.
The bit of the homework I was stuck on was a part in my essay where they asked me to put [...] if the quote continued or I cut a piece off that I didn't put in. I wasn't sure if I was meant to put the [...] in where I had left out some words in the sentence and also if I was meant to put it if that sentence ended in a full stop but there was more in the paragraph that followed that I didn't include.
I too hope the catheter thing is temporary as I am certainly not looking forward to it! I have heard it can hurt but the specialsit registrar I saw said it wouldn't...
I am 20 coming 21 years of age.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
Hiya!
I guess the homework is done, but from what you have written I would say that [...] should be put in of the quote continued or if you cut a chunk out.
I wouldn't put the [...] in the latter case where there's a full stop.
How are things today?
RE 1974-2011. Gone but never forgotten.
|
|
mrs miggins
Senior Member
Add mrs miggins
to Buddy List
Posts: 5031
Registered: Jun 2006
|
Posted 17th February 2009 12:25 IP
Quote:
Poke01 wrote:
Hi, funky_si and mrs miggins.
The bit of the homework I was stuck on was a part in my essay where they asked me to put [...] if the quote continued or I cut a piece off that I didn't put in. I wasn't sure if I was meant to put the [...] in where I had left out some words in the sentence and also if I was meant to put it if that sentence ended in a full stop but there was more in the paragraph that followed that I didn't include.
I too hope the catheter thing is temporary as I am certainly not looking forward to it! I have heard it can hurt but the specialsit registrar I saw said it wouldn't...
I am 20 coming 21 years of age.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
Hi Poke
are you at uni/college?
You should be able to get a guide to writing essays, or even find info on the net that covers things like this.
for quotes, you need to put ellipsis (i think thats the word for the three dots) for any part of a full sentence or paragraph that you do not quote.
so if you want to only quote words from halfway through the sentence, it'd be like this "....a guide for writing essays." If you are quoting several parts of a whole paragraph you need to put ... for each bit you are missing out.
You wouldn't need to put ... at the end of a full sentence if you are not quoting any more from that person at the time, even if that sentence is not the last part of the paragraph they wrote: "...able to get a guide to writing essays...info on the net that covers things like this."
Referencing correctly is important too - name, title of what you are quoting from and any page, paragraph or chapter references.
I would recommend trying to find some guidance, I know that most colleges now are pretty hot on plagiarism even if it's just unknowingly quoting and referencing incorrectly.
If you are nearly 21 will you be in full-time education for a while longer? If you are at uni or college is there an opportunity to live on campus at all?
Do you have plans for when you complete your education?
Whatever fortune brings, don't be afraid of doing things
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 18th February 2009 17:08 IP
Hi, funky_si and mrs mggins and thank you both for your help and advice.
I have put [...] where the sentence did not end in a full stop or where I cut some out in the sentence. I did not put the [...] when the sentence ended in a full stop.
Thanks both for your tips on this as it is confusing at first because it was my first assignment where I put quotes in and references.
I'm not at a campus uni or college but am doing distance learning with a university doing health and social care online.
I've put the references in text and also on the bottom of my assignment.
I'm hoping to start a career in healthcare after this course.
Today has gone pretty ok. I have been mainly in my bedroom doing my coursework and have just sent my first assignment off.
My dad has been doing his stuff and because we were all busy there has not been any contact as such.
Got to go now. Thanks for your help and advice.
P.S: I spoke to the nurse about self catheterisation and she said it is easier than I think. Though I am still a little nervous about it as last time I had a catheter it hurt, more like a stinging sensation.
Kind regards
Chloe
|
|
mrs miggins
Senior Member
Add mrs miggins
to Buddy List
Posts: 5031
Registered: Jun 2006
|
Posted 19th February 2009 17:16 IP
Quote:
Poke01 wrote:
Hi, funky_si and mrs mggins and thank you both for your help and advice.
I have put [...] where the sentence did not end in a full stop or where I cut some out in the sentence. I did not put the [...] when the sentence ended in a full stop.
Thanks both for your tips on this as it is confusing at first because it was my first assignment where I put quotes in and references.
I'm not at a campus uni or college but am doing distance learning with a university doing health and social care online.
I've put the references in text and also on the bottom of my assignment.
I'm hoping to start a career in healthcare after this course.
Today has gone pretty ok. I have been mainly in my bedroom doing my coursework and have just sent my first assignment off.
My dad has been doing his stuff and because we were all busy there has not been any contact as such.
Got to go now. Thanks for your help and advice.
P.S: I spoke to the nurse about self catheterisation and she said it is easier than I think. Though I am still a little nervous about it as last time I had a catheter it hurt, more like a stinging sensation.
Kind regards
Chloe
|
Hi Chloe
Sounds like you've got the hang of it now! With a distance course it can be a little harder as you are working on your own, but you can ask for help here.
As you don't have the opportunity for living on-campus, you might have to wait till you have finished and have a job before thinking about whether you want to move out.
It sounds like if you and your dad can stay out of each others way things will be easier for you - sometimes the best way to deal with things is to remove yourself from the situation. Make use of your local library if you can, you might find some useful study aids and it'll be a change of scenery.
let us know how you get on with every thing.
Whatever fortune brings, don't be afraid of doing things
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 20th February 2009 21:16 IP
Hi, mrs miggins and thanks for your help and support. I really appreciate it a lot and have found everyone on this board to be very helpful.
Yeah. I've kind of got the hang of it now as they have an online forum too but it is still different from what I did at college. Thanks for your offer of help. I'll let you know if I've got a few questions or get stuck with it.
I agree, I will most probably need to wait until I've got a job with stable income before considering moving out.
I have found it much easier to not get involved and avoid confrontations this way as if I am not nearby he cannot say things to me.
I have thought about going to my local library as I like the idea of renting books out to read generally as I like reading in general. I'll ask my mom if she can perhaps drop me off on a weekend if they do weekends.
Thanks once again for your help and support. I'll let you know how everything goes.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 23rd February 2009 19:36 IP
*Sighs*
Today has been a frustrating day. Nothing has gone right and to add to that dad is still not bothered about me and doesn't really care that I have a health problem as if he did he would've helped me to sort this situation out by now but he hasn't.
This morning I rang the continence nurse (still waiting to learn how to do self cathing) and she after nearly two weeks hasn't got the referal letter from this doctor that I saw as when I rang up one of the secretaries they said he hadn't even written any notes down as if I hadn't even attended the clinic! Great, some help these doctors are these days. I cannot get an appointment to see the continence nurse until this referal letter is there but actually it doesn't exist! The continence nurse wanted to try and fit me in tomorrow as she only has a couple of clinics a month and my mother is now starting work next week so I won't really be able to get there unless I get my dad to drop me off but I know I just won't last very long with him as we always give each other the cold shoulder, don't talk or argue and that's it so he'll just give me more stress on top of what I've already got.
I don't know what to do as this pathetic doctor didn't even do the letter! I'm stuck without any treatment now and I am so fed up of my life right now as nothing is going to plan anymore.
I'll end up like this forever just because that one stupid doctor didn't do his job and write a letter!
I don't know what to do and just want to try cathing without being shown as I am that desperate now. Is there any way I may be able to just obtain the catheters and try myself or get a district nurse to come and show me?
It seems these days that not many doctors know what they're doing or forget things so easily! It's no wonder I don't have any faith in them at all whatsoever.
Dad comes in asking me what is going on while I am talking to mom about something totally unrelated. I tell him and then he walks off without acknowledging me or that I'd said anything to him. He seems to be so ignorant of everything.
I don't know. I'm sick to death of my health and the people who are supposed to be helping me (doctor) and can't keep on.
Sorry for my rant. I just wanted to get it off my chest.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 24th February 2009 13:06 IP
Thanks, mrs miggins. :angel:
Today has been pretty much all about trying to get this doctor to write this non existent referal but unfortunately I can't get hold of the secretary so...
To top it all off I keep getting these horrible UTIs because of this problem and it is just getting me down as it is effecting my life in general.
I need these doctor's help but I'm powerless and haven't even managed to go to the clinic to see the continence nurse today as she still hasn't got the referal because he hasn't done it!
Sigh. I don't know if this will ever get sorted...
But thanks for the support.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 6th March 2009 13:26 IP
Sighs
My dad is now blaming me and saying that it's my fault that I am ill basically as I don't know how to self catheterise due to only being shown by diagrams rather than physically how, from what I've heard, is preferable.
He's basically saying it's my fault I cannot do it and that it is still like it.
I had a moan back to emphasise my point of the fact just because someone is ill, doesn't make it their fault.
He just is so unsypathetic...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Legsie
Bossy Chav!©
Add Legsie
to Buddy List
Posts: 29480
Registered: Jun 2008
|
Posted 8th March 2009 16:11 IP
I am now. Im sorry your dad is giving you such a hard time, i haven't read this thread fully yet but promise to do so.
Can i ask if its possible for you to remove yourself away from him?
في حياة أخرى
If copying DVDs is stealing, then by the same notion taking a picture of someone without permission is kidnap!
|
|
Jules
Unregistered
Add Jules
to Buddy List
Posts: 37799
Registered: Jun 2008
|
Posted 8th March 2009 20:36 IP
Quote:
Poke01 wrote:
Anybody there?
|
Please don't be despondant if people do not immediately reply, weekends can be quiet. I really feel for you Poke, but I am at a loss as what to advise other than move out, which you have said is impossible 
 I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
|
|
Ele
Senior Member
Add Ele
to Buddy List
Posts: 1553
Registered: Jul 2008
|
Posted 9th March 2009 11:12 IP
Hi sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I cannot really offer much advice as at the moment it seems you cannot move out. Could you get out during the day at all? Have you had any more luck with the doctor's referal?
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 11th March 2009 14:33 IP
Hi, Legsie, Jules and Ele.
I cannot remove myself totally as I'm still living in his house and canot move out as I've no money and no job yet due to my health problems. The only way that I've found is to lock myself away from it all.
Though, now my mom has got a new job, I have to be involved more due to needing driving to places like hospital appointments so he has to know what is happening. And he certainly isn't one for last minutes or emergencies or anything like that. Basically he has no patience and no flexibility. This makes life so difficult for me as I'm already ill and don't want to stress but with someone who stresses me it isn't easy.
I cannot go anywhere during the day on my own due to my physical health problems (spine issue and bladder) and I cannot drive either.
I managed to get referred to the continence nurse but she never showed me how to self catheterise physically - only by diagrams and I come to do the cathing and my anatomy is so different from the diagram that I am not confident in doing it in case I do any further damage to myself. I didn't bother going back to the continence nurse as I felt she wasn't really appropriate for me in general and decided to see my practice nurse as she knows me much better and is a lot more sympathetic in general. She tried to cath me but wasn't entirely sure of where the hole was to put it in either as mine is in an odd place which is what is adding to the difficulty in cathing. She tried it a couple of times. My mom, who was there, said that she heard the cath make a gurgling noise and I sort of heard a few drops come out but the nurse wasn't sure if it was the hole. She has made me another appointment to see her again to have another go.
This self cathing is just so difficult. I don't know why they don't just send me to hospital and do it properly. I'm not a clinician and haven't got a clue what I'm doing and will probably just end up damaging myself. I really don't think it is appropriate for me and would now consider other options.
I feel like I'm never going to get relief from this horrible uncomfortable retention that keeps me awake and disturbs my sleep.
I'm really beginning to wonder if I should just put my foot down and go to A+E.
I just don't know...
Many thanks for all of your posts and I'll keep you updated on this frustrating time.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 16th April 2009 10:28 IP
Hi, everyone
Haven't been on here for a bit as it seems a bit quiet but have returned anyway to post updates on my annoying and frustrating situation...
Today I need to get to the doctors before a certain time to drop something off.
Anyway he (dad) knows this as I spoke to him yesterday so it isn't as if he is going in cold.
I go to tell him that I am getting dressed then he starts a whole argument about the fact he agreed to take me and then he goes off on one, as usual.
About right...I kind of was a little expecting of that...
I don't engage in any conversation with him and just walk off as he is just so boring and argumentative at the best of times.
My sister calls me selfish for being annoyed and fed up...
I feel like my family is a waste of time...
I just don't know what to do anymore. No I cannot go live somewhere else. I don't have the money. I have health problems that are preventing me from woking...
I feel totally alone with this...
|
|
Jules
Unregistered
Add Jules
to Buddy List
Posts: 37799
Registered: Jun 2008
|
Posted 16th April 2009 20:31 IP
Have you got any close friends you can turn to?
I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
|
|
snoopy
Star Of The Decade
Add snoopy
to Buddy List
Posts: 786
Registered: Jul 2007
|
Posted 17th April 2009 00:31 IP
Hi Poke
I have only just come across your thread, I'm sorry I cant offer you any practical advice but just wanted to say you are not selfish or moaning, there are some lovely people on here who will try their best to help and always listen if you just feel the need to rant or let off steam. People care what happens to you, you are never alone.
Snoops xxx
|
|
Richie English
Unregistered
Add Richie English
to Buddy List
Posts:
Registered:
|
Posted 17th April 2009 09:34 IP
Quote:
Poke01 wrote:
Hi, everyone
Haven't been on here for a bit as it seems a bit quiet but have returned anyway to post updates on my annoying and frustrating situation...
Today I need to get to the doctors before a certain time to drop something off.
Anyway he (dad) knows this as I spoke to him yesterday so it isn't as if he is going in cold.
I go to tell him that I am getting dressed then he starts a whole argument about the fact he agreed to take me and then he goes off on one, as usual.
About right...I kind of was a little expecting of that...
I don't engage in any conversation with him and just walk off as he is just so boring and argumentative at the best of times.
My sister calls me selfish for being annoyed and fed up...
I feel like my family is a waste of time...
I just don't know what to do anymore. No I cannot go live somewhere else. I don't have the money. I have health problems that are preventing me from woking...
I feel totally alone with this...
|
May I ask how old you are - and how old your parents are?
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 17th April 2009 12:42 IP
Hi, Jules, snoopy and Richie English and thanks for your messages.
Jules, I have one friend but I don't really want to bog her down with this as she is working most of the time.
snoopy, thanks for letting me know I am not selfish or moaning as I feel sometimes that I may be which does get me down but I find everybody on this board are great to talk to and very helpful. It is a great place to talk to people about things and it's nice to know that there are people I can turn to.
Richie English, I am 21 now. My father is in his early 60s and mother in her early 50s.
Many thanks for all your messages. They are much appreciated.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
Peter
Super Moderator
Add Peter
to Buddy List
Posts: 22648
Registered: Jun 2006
|
Posted 19th April 2009 13:05 IP
Hi Poke,
You have mentioned your health problems in the past. Are there any support groups for people who have the same problems? They could be a sounding board for you with regard to that, and may have experience of families that cause problems.
When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some doll.
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 21st April 2009 15:57 IP
Hi, Peter
Thanks for your reply.
I'm not sure if there are any support groups where I am but I will certainly look into it and have thought about doing this for a couple of weeks now.
I will also see if I can find a sounding board.
Many thanks
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 9th May 2009 19:38 IP
Although it seems very quite on my thread for some time now...I will post still as I need help and support as I have no one now to turn to...
As of late (well actually for a while) I have noticed that my dad has now started (he has been doing it for some time now) stealing again from my bedroom without asking me. My sister also mentioned that something like her basket with stuff in looked like it had been messed with as the latch had moved, though she didn't really care like I do as he has kept stealing from me something terrible.
It would actually be nice if he actually had at least a bit of respect enough to ask me for something rather than just thinking 'oh, Ill just go and take this. She won't notice.' Of course I notice. What is it with him? He is such an ignorant nasty ******* I cannot believe he is my dad. I actually want to pretend I'm not his child as it's embarressing and frustrating all at the same time.
He also, when I had to go out with him out of no choice of my own as I had to do something (my mom is now at work all week), left the door to shut on me and doesn't seem to care about me when I'm out with him. It's as if he doesn't love me and doesn't want me. I don't know...
He also makes nasty and plain stupid comments whilst I'm out and tries to make me look stupid for whatever reason I don't know. Stupid and childish in my opinion.
My mom is trying to ignore me and doesn't want to help me when I get frustrated and I hate the way she keeps telling me to go away and it's HER man doing this to supposedly HER child! Personally I feel like I'm not loved by either of my parents. What have I done? Why do I care? Why don't I just go and live alone? It would be so nice to get out of here and have no one stealing my stuff and no one making me look like an **** and no one who doesn't care about me in the vicinity.
Why are my parents like this?
They are crazy and weird and I'm sick of it all and just want to get away but as I said before have no money and no where else to go. I'm stuck here...
Regards
Poke01 (a frustrated person who cannot be bothered living with her parents anymore)
|
|
Jules
Unregistered
Add Jules
to Buddy List
Posts: 37799
Registered: Jun 2008
|
Posted 9th May 2009 21:13 IP
Your situation sounds awful Poke, I would suggest going to the Citizens Advice Bureau and see what your options are.
I enjoy a glass of red wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my exceptionally witty comebacks, sarcasm, and flawless dance moves.
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 10th May 2009 17:09 IP
Hi, Jules
Thanks for replying.
I'll definitely consider that as it's just getting on my nerves with him stealing and everything else. I'm due in for an operation on my bladder next week and don't know how I'm going to cope as I've got my essay to do as well. It's all just getting to me.
I'll have to do it in secret though as I think my parents are going to wonder why I'm doing it as they hover (especially my dad) over me while I'm phoning people up which completely flusters me.
I can't really get away with doing anything myself as I'm constantly watched or certainly overheard.
I can't go out and visit them as I can't drive and they will know I've gone out then and wonder where I've been and the bad news is I've only got them who can actually take me out. I have no one else. That could prove to be a problem as I don't really want them involved as I know it could get a bit tense.
I'll have to think of a way around it to be able to contact them secretly.
I know I shouldn't be doing things behind my parents' backs but they (or at least dad is) are doing it to me so really I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about doing it now as I certainly know where I think I stand in relation to them, especially my dad.
Thanks for your help and support. It's greatly appreciated.
Many thanks and kind regards
Poke
|
|
Poke01
Member
Add Poke01
to Buddy List
Posts: 54
Registered: Nov 2008
|
Posted 11th November 2009 20:57 IP
Hi all
Just want to thank you all for your support.
Unfortunately I am still in the same situation and cannot escape it as I cannot afford to move out nor can I go and stay with anyone.
He has just done it various times since I last posted. It seems he wants to hurt me as he gets something out of it?
I really am getting fed up and depressed and am crying now as I do not feel happy being cooped up with him nearby.
Kind regards
Poke01
|
|
|
|
Health and Lifestyle Forum :: Family and Relationships :: Family Matters :: Father troubles...
Page: 1 2 3 |
