Laura
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 Posted 26th October 2011 14:18 IP   
Whats the biggest age gap you've had in a relationship? If you are single does age of a potential partner play a big part in whether you pursue the relationship or not? Is it more acceptable for older women to get with a lot younger guys now, than in years gone by, or is there still a big divide between the genders that way?
For me, I would tend to go for men between 25-45 nowadays (being 33 myself!), just because I don't think I would be attracted to older men (plenty of time for dating wrinkles and grey hair when I have it myself!) and younger than that I couldn't take them seriously.
There's a guy I like at the moment, get the impression its mutual, but he's 21! Wouldn't mind some fun with him, but would feel wrong, like a cradle snatcher!!
My best friend from uni is getting married (as in other thread!) to a 21 year old, she's 31. They got together when he was 17 and she 27! Proof it can work I guess.
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southcoastpete
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Posted 26th October 2011 14:22 IP
biggest age gap for me was 10 years I think.
I was 39, she was 29.
Some of my friends did seem quite impressed I'd pulled a 20 something 
As you go through life, I guess age doesn't make that much of a difference. Though perhaps levels of maturity would?
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Dick here
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Posted 26th October 2011 14:27 IP
13 years, and highly recommended
For the millionth time, stop exaggerating !
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july
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Posted 26th October 2011 14:27 IP
I don't think age makes the slightest bit of difference if it feels right. Like you say you couldn't go for the grey hair etc. but no to George Clooney? Really?..
I'm kidding, the point I was (badly) trying to make was that although you may not go for that age gap, doesn't mean it isn't right for someone else.
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shiny
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Posted 26th October 2011 14:35 IP
Quote:
Laura wrote:
My best friend from uni is getting married (as in other thread!) to a 21 year old, she's 31. They got together when he was 17 and she 27! Proof it can work I guess.
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They've been together 4 years, hardly conclusive proof!
That being said, I don't see why age gaps can't work. It's down to the individuals. My sister is 16 years younger than her hubby, seems to be working.
Largest gap I've experienced (so to speak!) was just over 10 years, didn't work as she was worried I wanted to settle down to quickly.
As for your potential victim, no harm in having a bit of fun. Trouble is he may say all the right things whilst be hoping for the real thing.
You can see it, but not from here!
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Tony B Liar
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Posted 26th October 2011 14:39 IP
Quote:
Dick here wrote:
13 years, and highly recommended
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Have they got pubes at that age, pervy?
My life was in tatters because of my
obsession with the Okey-Cokey.
But I turned myself around and that's
what it's all about!
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southcoastpete
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Posted 26th October 2011 15:05 IP
Not much of an age gap, but this is the first time I've dated someone older than me.
I can recommend that too 
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Laura
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Posted 26th October 2011 15:37 IP
Quote:
shiny wrote:
They've been together 4 years, hardly conclusive proof!
That being said, I don't see why age gaps can't work. It's down to the individuals. My sister is 16 years younger than her hubby, seems to be working.
Largest gap I've experienced (so to speak!) was just over 10 years, didn't work as she was worried I wanted to settle down to quickly.
As for your potential victim, no harm in having a bit of fun. Trouble is he may say all the right things whilst be hoping for the real thing.
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Well they've been together 4 years, are madly in love, have a kid and are planning a second one in a couple years time. Are relationships ever conclusively proved? They're doing alright at the moment.
I wouldn't put an upper age limit on dating a guy, if I was attracted to him it wouldn't matter what age he was, but generally not into the over 45's yet (unless they have the same access to the Hollywood age-defying treatments George Clooney has!)
I dated a 30 year old when I was 19, didn't seem like it was an age gap at all, think we were the same in levels of maturity! And when I was 28 I dated a 19 year old just as a confidence booster after a relationship breakup!
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Laura
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Posted 26th October 2011 15:39 IP
Quote:
shiny wrote:
As for your potential victim, no harm in having a bit of fun. Trouble is he may say all the right things whilst be hoping for the real thing.
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He's all over the place in terms of work at the moment - freelances. So I don't think he'd be wanting anything more than fun. Just that we work together sometimes and the gossip that goes round that place can be quite hurtful, even though most of it is in jest!! I'd be quite aware of being called a cradlesnatcher!!
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Mark Mc
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Posted 26th October 2011 16:43 IP
Quote:
Laura wrote:
There's a guy I like at the moment, get the impression its mutual, but he's 21! Wouldn't mind some fun with him, but would feel wrong, like a cradle snatcher!!
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why not suggest some after work activities and indicate some fun with no strings attached, and also state to him about being keeping schtum with regards to the liasons 
Everyone is talking about the closing ceremony at the Olympics and what was their favourite bit.
I just spoke to Nick Griffin, his favourite bit is today when they all fcuk off back home.
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Mark Mc
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Posted 26th October 2011 16:47 IP
Quote:
Laura wrote:
I'd be quite aware of being called a cradlesnatcher!!
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Dont make it public knowledge then!
I had an older feckbuddy when i was in my late teens, she was a married 43 year old bored housewife (who looking back at it, just prolly married him becouse her OH was a Banker).
with regards to the work environment,b dont give the gossips the amunition. 
Everyone is talking about the closing ceremony at the Olympics and what was their favourite bit.
I just spoke to Nick Griffin, his favourite bit is today when they all fcuk off back home.
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Laura
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Posted 26th October 2011 17:09 IP
Quote:
Mark Mc wrote:
why not suggest some after work activities and indicate some fun with no strings attached, and also state to him about being keeping schtum with regards to the liasons
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Don't think I could be that blunt lol!
More a subtle flirt, I am
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Mark Mc
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Posted 26th October 2011 17:58 IP
Quote:
Laura wrote:
More a subtle flirt, I am
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with the flirtatious body language and yer gaWjuz smile?
Everyone is talking about the closing ceremony at the Olympics and what was their favourite bit.
I just spoke to Nick Griffin, his favourite bit is today when they all fcuk off back home.
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shiny
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Posted 26th October 2011 18:12 IP
Quote:
Mark Mc wrote:
I had an older feckbuddy when i was in my late teens, she was a married 43 year old bored housewife (who looking back at it, just prolly married him becouse her OH was a Banker).
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One of those saddos, eh?
You can see it, but not from here!
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Mark Mc
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Posted 26th October 2011 19:16 IP
Quote:
shiny wrote:
One of those saddos, eh?
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In hindisight, yes. 
All he done, was pay the mortagage.
*Ahem*
Whilst i was losing my inhibitions. 
Everyone is talking about the closing ceremony at the Olympics and what was their favourite bit.
I just spoke to Nick Griffin, his favourite bit is today when they all fcuk off back home.
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Mark Mc
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Posted 26th October 2011 19:18 IP
Loz, it's only your sexual desires popping up.
Dont act out on it,
Chances are, it'd end in tears. 
.........just let it be what it is- just a sexual fantasy.
.
Everyone is talking about the closing ceremony at the Olympics and what was their favourite bit.
I just spoke to Nick Griffin, his favourite bit is today when they all fcuk off back home.
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johnthebrief
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Posted 26th October 2011 19:46 IP
15 years is my biggest gap (I was 39, she was 24)
My most serious relationship ever, she was 8 years younger than me
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Kathy Lees
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Posted 26th October 2011 22:26 IP
Depending on what you want in a relationship and in the future, I think age does matter.
One of my cousins married a guy who just had the same ambitions as her (having kids) and who was reliable. They were both in their late 20s when they married. He was in love with her and she loved him because he was stable and dependable. They had kids and raised them well and it filled her biological needs but she wasn't satisfied in her relationship. Her hubby was a good man but there was no spark, he just wasn't her soulmate. So when their kids were old enough to be independant, they split up and she is now with someone she says is the perfect man.
If she were to wait for the perfect man in the first place she wouldn't have had her kids. And the bloke she's with now doesn't want any kids anyway so perhaps wouldn't have been a good father. Her ex is a good father and her current man is a good partner.
Abortion - It sucks the life out of you.
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Flange
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Posted 27th October 2011 08:43 IP
Quote:
Tony B Liar wrote:
Have they got pubes at that age, pervy?
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Damn you for not having a POTM.
Thoughts become things, so choose the good ones.
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Mark Mc
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Posted 27th October 2011 11:05 IP
Quote:
Kathy Lees wrote:
Depending on what you want in a relationship and in the future, I think age does matter.
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A good eloquent reply Kathy.
The thing, Lozzie has her sights on a work collegue.
My thinking is, if i have doubts and have to have second thoughts, then dont do it.
specifically in the work environs.
Everyone is talking about the closing ceremony at the Olympics and what was their favourite bit.
I just spoke to Nick Griffin, his favourite bit is today when they all fcuk off back home.
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Grigori
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Posted 27th October 2011 11:14 IP
Quote:
Laura wrote:
Whats the biggest age gap you've had in a relationship? If you are single does age of a potential partner play a big part in whether you pursue the relationship or not? Is it more acceptable for older women to get with a lot younger guys now, than in years gone by, or is there still a big divide between the genders that way?
For me, I would tend to go for men between 25-45 nowadays (being 33 myself!), just because I don't think I would be attracted to older men (plenty of time for dating wrinkles and grey hair when I have it myself!) and younger than that I couldn't take them seriously.
There's a guy I like at the moment, get the impression its mutual, but he's 21! Wouldn't mind some fun with him, but would feel wrong, like a cradle snatcher!!
My best friend from uni is getting married (as in other thread!) to a 21 year old, she's 31. They got together when he was 17 and she 27! Proof it can work I guess.
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Hi laura... newbie here but thought I'd jump in. Apologies, I haven't read all replies yet, just thought I'd answer as me, honestly.
I am nearing 31.
I always had this 'worry' i should say, rather then fear, of dating guys younger then me. They say guys mature slower then women, I guess thats why. As a single parent, i needed a mature man, but even before a child, I needed a mature man. [not a silver fox though haha, I went my age and up 7yrs max]
I had a hard upbringing in a few ways so I didn't want no mumma's boy or something, if you know what I mean.
dating is hard.
I went into dating looking for a long term thing, and I made it clear that was what I was after.
if you are after short term or just enjoyment or don't really have any expectations other then fun, then by all means, date younger. If your comfy and he is, why not. But would he be ok with intro'ing you to his mates, and the other way around as well? If not, wouldn't that mean it's more a bed buddy thing?? No insult intended, Im sorry if you take it harshly. I am only asking. Or helping you consider??
I think the days are gone where women only date upward in age, but i also believe alot of the stigma still lives on today... much the same as the stigma still lives with single parents or racial crap that the uneducated have no idea about!
if you both know the rules, both know what you want, now and tomorrow and next yr, then why not?!?!
I hope I have not made a fool of myself now for not reading any replies... I most likely have... but oh well, maybe my reply helps someone else down the track??
have a good one! xx
To happen soon enough! Just say hi, make me welcome, and I'll get to it soon! xx
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mrs miggins
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Posted 27th October 2011 15:40 IP
I dated someone 9 years older than me when I was 19, and that was a bit too much as he was looking to settle down and I wasn't. He married the next girl he went out with after me.
At the moment I'd prefer to date someone my age or slightly older. Difficult though, because lots of men are only interested in dating MUCH younger women.
I'd hesitate to date someone more than a couple of years younger as in general men are less mature than women and and think it'd be less likely they want the same things as me.
Having said that, if I met the perfect person for me and they happened to be a lot older or a lot younger it probably wouldn't matter.
Whatever fortune brings, don't be afraid of doing things
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moonman
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Posted 27th October 2011 15:47 IP
Age I wouldnt have a problem with, but I would never date someone I work with. I have in the past and can turn into a problem.
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moonman
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Posted 27th October 2011 15:48 IP
Havent read the whole thing yet but that fact that the adult was a teacher makes it more abusive I think. Its a position of trust and power.
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july
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Posted 27th October 2011 15:51 IP
Quote:
moonman wrote:
Havent read the whole thing yet but that fact that the adult was a teacher makes it more abusive I think. Its a position of trust and power.
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I'm not sure. Surely anyone in their 30's whether they're a teacher, a binman, or whatever should know what they are doing?
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moonman
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Posted 27th October 2011 15:55 IP
Quote:
july wrote:
I'm not sure. Surely anyone in their 30's whether they're a teacher, a binman, or whatever should know what they are doing?
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Yeah but he had authority over her that he could manipulate that he couldnt if he were say, a binman. so I think that makes it worse. He was in a position of trust.
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july
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Posted 27th October 2011 15:58 IP
Quote:
moonman wrote:
Yeah but he had authority over her that he could manipulate that he couldnt if he were say, a binman. so I think that makes it worse. He was in a position of trust.
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Yeah I suppose so.
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mrs miggins
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Posted 27th October 2011 15:58 IP
Quote:
moonman wrote:
Yeah but he had authority over her that he could manipulate that he couldnt if he were say, a binman. so I think that makes it worse. He was in a position of trust.
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yes, someone in their 30s should know better, but the position of trust issue does make it worse.
I doubt very many 16 year olds would be wanting to date a 30+ bin man!
Whatever fortune brings, don't be afraid of doing things
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july
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Posted 27th October 2011 16:01 IP
Why not? I used that profession because I remeber having a maaajor crush on a binman when I was about 16. He was very very very very very very HOT.
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Health and Lifestyle Forum :: Family and Relationships :: Relationships :: Age gaps
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