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Good advice |
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mystic light
Administrator
Posts: 6815
Registered: May 2006 |
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 Posted February 15th, 2008 10:58 IP   
Carry a Long Pole Through the Gate
A man from Lu tried to enter the City Gate carrying a long pole.
First, he held the pole upright, but the pole could not pass through the gate.
Then he held it horizontally; but it still could not pass through. He was stumped.
By and by an old man came along and said to him, "I am not a Saint; but I have a lot of practical experience. Why not cut the pole in two at the middle?"
So the man cut the pole in two at the middle.
What do you get out of this story? Does it help to hear a good friend's opinion?
Or...?
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apostrophes
Member
Posts: 842
Registered: May 2006 |
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Posted February 15th, 2008 11:35 IP
What do I get from the story? They're both idiots?
I tend not to ask advice; but only because it is rare anyone ever comes out with something I have not already considered. It depends on the problem. If I require knowledge I don't have I'll ask someone but if it is personal, I usually work it out myself.
Richard
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I dedicate this post to those words that were deleted in the making of it. |
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Persephone
Member
Posts: 244
Registered: Jul 2006 |
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Posted February 16th, 2008 00:45 IP
I figured out a long time ago that when I accept another's advice as my truth, I am going to have to endure their consequences. Once I understood that, I understood that making one's own decisions is an act of maturity. I can ask another for their opinion, however, another's opinion is like a part of the anatomy, and I'm not interested in hearing about yours.
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A good example is the tallest kind of preaching.
African proverb |
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apostrophes
Member
Posts: 842
Registered: May 2006 |
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Posted February 16th, 2008 00:52 IP
Quote:
I figured out a long time ago that when I accept another's advice as my truth, I am going to have to endure their consequences. |
Someone gave advice to a previous girlfriend of mine along the lines that as a 'typical' young English male she could not rely on me to stick around and wait for her when she went away.
I had worked so hard to convince her not to worry and in just thirty seconds this friend had undone all that and I had to deal with it all over again.
I really felt like knocking on that friend's door (it was after midnight) and demanding that as her advice had made such a mess she ought to follow it up and help fix it. But no, that is not how it works. People give advice and then are nowhere to be seen when the consequences erupt.
So I am reluctant to give unasked for advice and even when asked I won't hand it out recklessly if it is something big.
Richard
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I dedicate this post to those words that were deleted in the making of it. |
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mystic light
Administrator
Posts: 6815
Registered: May 2006 |
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Posted February 16th, 2008 09:55 IP
When I am sure how to handle a situation, of course I won't ask.
But sometimes I can think of different options. . Then I hear as many opinions as seems pleasant.
I always keep in mind: Never follow the advice of somebody who hasn't been in your situation before.
This is sooo important.
Then I weigh all these things in my mind. I usually move slowly, or not at all, when I am not sure.
Rumi said (or Arrabi) : Walk away from all that you are not sure of.
Seems to be really true.
I would not follow a friends advice and then blame him or her if things go wrong. It was my decision still.
The true master for all my questions is the I Ching however.
Here I ask for advice without hesitation, and usually follow, if I can help it.
Think about it:
Who is answering when the I Ching replies?
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mystic light
Administrator
Posts: 6815
Registered: May 2006 |
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Posted February 16th, 2008 10:05 IP
I replied with 50/50, because 'sometimes' wasn't available in this lousy poll.
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Izzi
Member
Posts: 31
Registered: Jun 2007 |
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Posted February 16th, 2008 19:00 IP
I voted 50/50 aswell.
Advice from friends, even good friends, can be harmful. Often a friend will tell you something that you want to hear to make the situation better.
Giving advice should be handled delicately. In receiving aswell.
In actuallity, the best advice comes from within. The experience of resolving a situation yourself is more benefitial.
The decision to not give someone advice, can be advice too.
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mystic light
Administrator
Posts: 6815
Registered: May 2006 |
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Posted February 23rd, 2008 16:05 IP
Very true!
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Lotus Buddhism Forum :: :: Taoism :: Good advice |
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