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Methadone Anonymous Forums :: REGULAR FORUMS :: DETOX/TAPER :: Feeling like I can't do it....
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted December 11th, 2010 12:03 PM   IP              To make it clear, I said meth, and meant methadone. We call it that in Canada, and ya it gets confused with methamphetamine. I am completley clean except on methadone. I will make a point of making that more clear now. lol I suck!
justanother1 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Feb 2010  Posted December 12th, 2010 06:11 AM   IP              HAHA yeah I also confused myself. Its me who has to apologize for the confusion. Keep up the hard work !! R
justanother1 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Feb 2010  Posted December 17th, 2010 01:09 PM   IP              Hey Amber, Whats up with ya? You still keeping it up? Hope so. Not much longer and you'll lose the chain. Take care and good luck! R
dal33 *MODERATOR* Detox/Taper Forum Posts: 939 Registered: Apr 2009  Posted January 1st, 2011 04:56 PM   IP              Amber, Yeah! I'd be really interested to hear how you are doing! Hope you are still around here & reading, etc... Just a line or 2 on what's up with you, whatever it may be. It's been since 11Dec. of last year, LOL !!! But really, it would be good to hear from you! I hope you are doing well & will be here soon, one way or the other! take care & be well "Strange how people who suffer together have stronger commitments than peoplewho are most content" b. dylan
shakenbake_747 *MODERATOR* Posts: 211 Registered: Feb 2009  Posted January 5th, 2011 08:14 AM   IP              Hi Amber just went through and read your posts, if you see this let us know how your doing, So far Ive gone from 130 to 70 but have taken it slow, wish you the best of luck hope all is well! Nate
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted January 10th, 2011 04:50 AM   IP              Hey guys! Hope everyone had a Merry Xmas, and a Happy New Yr! So, I decided to "pause" during the holidays, so for a month, I sat at 6mgs. Came Jan.4th, I moved down to 5mg. Awesome I know. I have been feeling not to bad actually. Lack of sleep SUCKS! but other than that I am hanging on. I plan on going down to 4mgs on my next appt. Which is next Tues. Can you believe that- 4... wow. I keep getting more nervous about the big "jump off"... I think about it while I wake up at nights, sometimes I think about it during the day. I have NEVER been more nervous about anything in my life. I wanna do it so bad. I know I will do it. I am just scared. I know you guys understand the fear, but- most people don't. Anyway.. I hope ya'll are doing good with you tapers! Thinkin' bout ya's! and thanks for the support! xooxoxo
murphy Member Posts: 2 Registered: Jan 2011  Posted January 26th, 2011 01:24 AM   IP              I wish you the best .I have been on methadone for 20 years and clean of heroin for ten and i myself am down to 10mg from 225mg.I took me 10 years of being clean to feel i am ready soi commend you and i also understand what your feeling just look at your child and push threw this because it will pass and you can then really enjoy what life is about.
murphy Member Posts: 2 Registered: Jan 2011  Posted January 26th, 2011 01:26 AM   IP              I forgot to add that you didn't get addicted in weeks so if it takes you a year to get off 10 mg at least it will be over.
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted January 31st, 2011 08:10 AM   IP              Hey guys! I am at 4mg's, and tomorrow I go down to 3. I am feeling decent. I have good days and bad days. I go through weeks I sleep, and weeks I don't. It is a hard journey. Sometimes feels impossible. BUT- I have made it this far.. and I will finish this yr! I really didn't even think I would make it to 3. I have this. I know I do. You guys are amazing. Thanks for listening to me vent!
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted January 31st, 2011 09:26 PM   IP              Amazing! I jumped at 3mg and would not recommend it - take your time. And you are right, you will make it! Regards, -s
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted February 1st, 2011 01:17 PM   IP              I moved down to 3 today. I am planning to get to 1 to 1 and 1/2 before jumping. Anyway, I am at 3 for 3 weeks at least, cause I don't see doc again til' then... so... probably move down to 2 then... slowwwwww and steady!
dal33 *MODERATOR* Detox/Taper Forum Posts: 939 Registered: Apr 2009  Posted February 1st, 2011 05:20 PM   IP              Amber~~Good for you, I know you'll make it too! I've got a friend that just keeps waivering between 2&1/2 -5. & tells me it's mainly 2&1/2 mgs. a day. My own taper started at 315mgs., & now am at 155. After almost 2yrs. Murphy, I wanted to say that's fantastic! I've been on MMT for a little over 13 yrs. now. I really am glad that you are doing so well & have stuck with it! Going slowly is what I always hear, without fail! Keep us informed! I won't have much to report for a while due to the fact that I've been put on a hold til I talk to the dr,at the end of Feb. I am sure it is because I went back up like 3 times in a 4 month time period! Anyhow, hope to hear from you; how you're doing. Thanx for the update! stay well & be careful! l "Strange how people who suffer together have stronger commitments than peoplewho are most content" b. dylan
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted March 24th, 2011 08:37 PM   IP              Just want to let you all know, I am at 1 mg, this is my third week at 1. I have an appointment next week to discuss with my doc. My jump off date. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SCARED. I am feeling good at 1 though, and really think I'm ready. can anyone tell me how bad a 1mg drop off will be... I'm reading all these posts and I'm freakin out. Support pleassssee. Xoxoxooxk
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted March 24th, 2011 11:46 PM   IP              My guess is that you will feel little to no pain at all. I will be shocked if it is as bad as all the posts. When I jumped at 3mg I had been tapering like mad. I have faith you will drop like a feather not like a lead brick. Regards, -s
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted March 25th, 2011 06:30 PM   IP              That makes me feel a bit better.... The more I read the more scared I get.. My doc. Keeps telling ,e to stop reading online. Lol. I have myself so scared. Thanks for you nice reply! Xoxo. I'll keep you guys updated on the jump off date, and how it goes!
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted March 25th, 2011 07:20 PM   IP              Hey! You need to mind-map your success. Start envisioning success with all this. Fear is the biggest threat to everything when it comes to an addict. Please do not set yourself up to fail and please do not be scared. You have plenty of resources - worst case, you get back on 1mg... If I am correct, you cannot get any lower than 1mg or can you? Just think... You are at the lowest amount possible. Just keep posting and stay relaxed. Regards, -s
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted March 25th, 2011 07:58 PM   IP              I am pretty sure I could go half of a mg... Here in Canada we do liquid doses. Thing is, I don't want to keep prolonging, I think I am ready,,, just nervous, kwim ... Worst case I go back on a 1mg. I will never relapse, I have a 1 and a halfyear old that is WAY more important!
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted March 28th, 2011 07:22 PM   IP              Hi Amber, How are things looking today? Regards, -s
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted March 29th, 2011 03:53 PM   IP              Was at the doctors and got a weeks carries of 1/2mg doses. I put them in my drawer, and decided I was going to try to make the jump today. It is like 4:30pm and I haven't had my drink yet, and I feel decent. We will see, I am nervous...
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted March 29th, 2011 05:06 PM   IP              I think you will feel fine. Just be sure to start mapping a future without drugs and without friends that use drugs. Create a powerful image of tomorrow and go chase it That will keep you busy and your mind flowing. I am almost certian that you will be fine Regards, -s
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted March 29th, 2011 06:07 PM   IP              Thank you soooo much for your encouraging words. You don't know how much it means to me! I will come on tomorrow and let you know how I'm doing!
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted March 30th, 2011 01:29 AM   IP              I do! That is why I am here Someone was here for me.
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted March 30th, 2011 08:11 AM   IP              . Day 2 of no methadone!,,,, YAY ME last night wasn't to bad! I took a sleeping pill and slept til 630. I feel not bad today considering. I am a little sore. I feel like I keep on waiting for bad WDs to kick in... But so far so good. I've been eating fine too. I'll keep you's posted . Again thanks for being there!
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted March 31st, 2011 09:49 AM   IP              Day 3 no methadone...... ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I still feel pretty damn good.. I don't get it, I have been waiting for the WDs to start... But.. Sofar so good. I even went out for dinner last night, and slept til 8 am this morning. So weird. Am I jumping the gun, or am I really going to be okay? after 5 years addicted, am I finally done....? I dont know what to say, exept it's really bizarre. I feel an overwhelming sence of accomplishment, and excitment for my future. I still have low energy, and look forward to the day I feel more like myself. omg, I really have had no done since Monday morning. The longest I have been drug free in soooooo long, wow.
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted March 31st, 2011 10:26 PM   IP              It's no dream Just remember that your condition of being an addict will never change no matter how good or bad your life gets. For me, I gave up drinking and everything else to not risk my good fortune. I go to meetings every now and then but I always keep in touch with my condition by posting here and keeping in touch with a handful of people that know me well that remind me of who I am. I have accomplished a lot in a short time in the realm of business and on other goals but I never forget that I am a person that came from being super far down and I can go right back down and go further down, real fast. Lastly, now is the time for setting goals - pile them on. Go travel the world or do whatever you can dream up! AMBER, YOU ARE AN AMAZING STORY - NEVER FORGET THAT! Best Regards, -s
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted April 1st, 2011 06:04 PM   IP              Thank you sooooo much for your kind words! Today was day four, and lemme tell you.. I feel good still!,! I feel so proud! It really is possible. You can All do it if you put your mind to it!
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted April 2nd, 2011 04:44 PM   IP              If my words mean so much, please report back that you wrote down 5 big strecth goals and 10 little goals. That is all I ask if there is a favor I can pick up in return. Regards, -s
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted April 5th, 2011 08:41 PM   IP              Amber, Did I put you off with my demands Regards, -s
Amber85 Member Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2010  Posted April 5th, 2011 09:38 PM   IP              Lol no!! I have to think about it for a little.. Lmao.. I have a couple goals,.,, but you R beng pretty demanding with the 15 goals hahah (joking) One of my major goals is getting healthy. I have put a lot of weight on during is process. I do have more goals, and I'll write them out, and come let you know!! Xo
socrates *FORUM DIRECTOR* Posts: 960 Registered: May 2007  Posted May 3rd, 2011 01:33 AM   IP              Any updates Amber and where are the 'goals' its been about month now -s
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