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Macey
Member
Posts: 28
Registered: May 2008 |
 Posted December 15th, 2010 02:33 PM IP   
I think one thing that I can say is, tapering slowly is key. BUT, when you are down to zero you're going to feel bad, in my opinion. I think the amount you come off of has a lot to do with how badly you feel. If you jump off a high dose, it's gonna be terrible, however if you come off a small amount that you've tapered down to, it's not as bad. But you can't expect to quit with no ill effects. You just have to tell yourself that it will pass, you really have to want to quit to make it work. You have to do it for yourself, not because someone else is bugging you into it. I've been off methadone for 2 months now. I feel fine now..I still think about using, but they are just fleeting thoughts that I shove away. I don't think I could be around opiates right now, I don't think I'm that strong yet..who knows, I might always have to steer clear of it. I think I'll always concider myself an addict, just not an "active" addict 
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RoodleGirl
Member
Posts: 2
Registered: Jun 2006 |
Posted February 18th, 2011 10:28 PM IP
My last day on methadone was in the end of January 2011. It has taken me about 2 years to taper off of the drug. At my highest prescribed amount, I was taking 130mg/daily in pill form. As I titrated lower (below ten) I elected to use liquid form to be more exact and I had eventually stepped down to less than 1/2 mg/daily before I finally just quit, period. I was lucky enough to have a family that supported me through the process, which I realize many people do not have. My doctor did not really seem to care of the fact that I was wacked out of my mind while on the drug, or even the MANY other prescription pain-killers I was given for chronic pain. I am in my early 30's and have been battling prescription pain relievers for more than a decade - it literally sucked my life away. I toiled with *trying* to balance my usage of medications (whether vicodin, fentanyl patches, oxycontin, morphine pills, etc.) but it was a fruitless battle. I clearly could not handle taking such powerful prescriptions on my own, nor could I handle it long-term. I was out of control, taking beyond what was prescribed and FOR ME, getting off of all pain pills and sobering up was my only option for life. My family had let me taper at a pace that would not cause me a tremendous amount of discomfort, encouraging me onward to get completely off the drug methadone. I will be honest, when I was taking my highest dose of pain-killing drugs (any of them) I was at my lowest: I was confused, in a ton of 'rebound pain', sleeping through my life as a shell of a person. The pain and withdrawal symptoms did ease with time and with the tapering off methadone. I can remember feeling my worst (the chills, cramps, kicks, hallucinations ) and right now, off methadone, I can not even fathom those feelings again. They are really far away, a bad memory and not even close to how I feel now on bad days. If I am in pain, I take ibuprophen and it does the trick....what it does not do is completely take away the pain, but it does not knock you into a coma either! I am learning that there is a way to live with chronic pain, pain does get better and it is not constant. Neither were the withdrawal symptoms and feelings of coming down off methadone. I cannot say with certainty the exact moment that I started to feel better or 'normal'. However, I can attest to the fact that over time I have regained a feeling of being human and somewhat of what I feel 'normalcy' to be......I think it may take awhile for me to re-learn what that is again. Our bodies do have an amazing ability to heal and it is important, I feel, to embrace change for the better. I remember feeling so much fear of the unknown, of coming off methadone which is what kept me turning back to the drug over and over again. Letting go of the fear of the pain and the unknown has allowed me to move forward and into sobriety. I know that I am not 'out of the woods' because if sobriety were easy to maintain, I wouldn't be here posting my problems of the past 10+ years I'm on the road to recovery and hope that this does give someone a little hope and help. Oh yeah, I lost weight and started exercising and I even have a social life now!!! I'm not trying to sound like an infomerical, but a healthy dose of optimism can't hurt. I wanted to be free from methadone and I worked hard for it. After overdosing serveal times, I am thanking my lucky stars that I am not dead right now - as I easily could have been.
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted February 19th, 2011 04:37 PM IP
What a well articulated post
Enjoy your road of recovery.
I think Methadone is great to get people out of horrible situations that expose people to great dangers. And I think it is even greater if everyone can get off everything. I know many people do not feel that it is possible for all people.
For the people that can it is a pretty empowering experience (not trying to slight others).
I have been off few a few years now but I try to stay close to recovery in so far that I enjoy the distance I have now by walking a straight line.
Thanks again for posting!
Warm Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted February 21st, 2011 04:14 PM IP
Quote:
Macey wrote:
I think one thing that I can say is, tapering slowly is key. BUT, when you are down to zero you're going to feel bad, in my opinion. I think the amount you come off of has a lot to do with how badly you feel. If you jump off a high dose, it's gonna be terrible, however if you come off a small amount that you've tapered down to, it's not as bad. But you can't expect to quit with no ill effects. You just have to tell yourself that it will pass, you really have to want to quit to make it work. You have to do it for yourself, not because someone else is bugging you into it. I've been off methadone for 2 months now. I feel fine now..I still think about using, but they are just fleeting thoughts that I shove away. I don't think I could be around opiates right now, I don't think I'm that strong yet..who knows, I might always have to steer clear of it. I think I'll always concider myself an addict, just not an "active" addict
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hi! i am new here. i have been on methadone for a couple of years now. i am ready to taper. i suffered from a terrible oxycontin addiction. before that i was addicted to cocaine on and off for most of my adult life. i guess i traded coke for oxys. last year i tried to taper. being the addict that i am i manag ed to sabotage that effort. i had tapered from 90mg down to 20mg. i must say i was doing great. not having many wds at all. i was eating well taking vitamins and going to the gym regularly. then i started buying extra from a patient at the clinic and eventually went back up to 35mgs. i was buying a bottle of 240mgs and taking half the bottle every other day. last month something happened with me. i became disgusted with myself. i took a good look at my life and hated what i saw. i knew i had to get myself off of methadone. let me say that i am grateful for what methadone has done for me. anyway, i decided to stop doing the extra methadone. i just stopped using the extra cold turkey. i only had one night of pain. the worst part was mental. i could feel my brain punishing me for not giving it the amount of meth it wanted. i hung in there because i was so determined. i really suffered for about 2 weeks. i thought about suicide frequently. i had no one to talk to. i survived by telling myself that it will get better. nothing stays the same forever. and sure enough my brain began to stop the punishment. next week i begin the taper process with the clinic. i know that i can do it. to have someone to talk with that understands what i am going through would be priceless. however i know i'm strong enough to do it alone if i have to. with me the mental anguish seems to be far worse than any physical symptoms. if anyone reads this and would like to offer help and support i could not thank you enough. next week i begin the journey. wish me luck! thanks.
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted February 21st, 2011 11:39 PM IP
Hi Garland,
I am here for you
And I can say safely everyone else is as well. Maybe it is the rise of Facebook but things have been a bit slow around here. Please be patient.
If you have a high need for support, please let me know and I will provide you with my personal details.
Lastly, I just want to put out there that in May I will have 4 years without Methadone and life has been super good. Its a fast and slow road. The brain and body needs time to adjust and you have to be patient as if you are being patient with a small child and know that time is your friend.
As each day pours into the next, each month will do the same along with each year.
I am glad you are here and we are all here for you just as others were here for us when we arrived.
Best Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted February 22nd, 2011 02:17 PM IP
hey socrates! thank you so much for your quick response. it feels wonderful to know someone is out there who understands and cares. i have a desire to help others when i get clean. i know that it wont be easy or happen overnight. thank you for the offer of personal info if i need it. i'll try to handle it as is for now. if things get really bad i will request the personal info. i'm doing really good right now. ready to start the taper down next week. i worry about mental issues more than anything. i have never been suicidal even during the cocaine years. but this opioid thing is something completely different. it has taken me to places in my mind that i didnt even know existed. places that i never want to go to again. i do fear a loss of control. i pray that i am strong enough to deal with it if it starts again. i do think that i can do it now that i have support with this website. i cant thank you enough. garland
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted February 22nd, 2011 06:11 PM IP
Listen to yourself at all times and always trust in professional help. Secondly, remember that you never have to act on those impulses or emotions; they will eventually pass like clouds.
Regards,
-s
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RoodleGirl
Member
Posts: 2
Registered: Jun 2006 |
Posted February 23rd, 2011 05:52 PM IP
My catch-22: Counting or recording the days that I've been off of methadone. On one hand, it's super cool to know that time is passing and it gives me a little something to be proud of. Other hand, it's tricky marking time because it opens Pandora's box to a whole host of other emotions & still in some way worrying about that darn drug! Does that make sense to anyone else? It feels like I'm still bound by it somehow and that drives me up a wall. Although my days used to be punctuated by: when I would dose, worrying about how much I was going down - I would sometimes forget about dosing completely....I *think* that's a sign of positive change. Who would've thought a couple years ago that I was actually capable of 'forgetting' to take a pill or drug to alter my mood (or keep me from getting very sick)!?!
It's difficult to relate to family and friends with this issue. Unless you've been through it, you really cannot understand what someone else has gone through OR 'is' going through. I truly feel for everyone on here. Not to read like I'm in a negative mood or anything like that, but I somewhat feel as if I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop......all of the constant worrying about this drug. It's almost like I am clueless on what goal to set & reach next.
Does this make sense to anyone else?
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted February 23rd, 2011 09:15 PM IP
Yes it makes sense
Set your sights on everything!
Just know that you can do anything you can think of!
My only thing that I caution is that I hit a wall at 5 or 6 months. The wall did not cause me to drink or anything but caused me to go back to my AA sponsor and look at the spiritual part of my life. And no, I am not an AA thumper at all. I have not been to a meeting in 6 months and went off and on before that.
The bottomline is you must see the world as a fresh canvas. The body and brain needs to grow, be challenged, and stretch itself.
Pick some positive goals and go for it!!!!
Regards,
-s
(Edited by socrates)
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted March 15th, 2011 01:08 PM IP
went to the clinic today. i was suppose to go down to 25mg today but my counselor forgot to put in for it so i will remain at 30mg for another week. last week i started my taper process and it is going well. i started at 35mg and originally set up to go down 5mg every 2 weeks. last week was going so good i asked my couselor to switch to go down every week. if my counselor doesnt forget anymore i expect to be methadone free at the end of april. i sincerely hope that things continue going well. i am going to stick with the plan anyway because i just dont care anymore. if it gets rough i'll just put up with it. i want more than anything to be free of this prison i've put myself in. until later...
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted March 15th, 2011 07:24 PM IP
I had that attitude but be prepared to have a little white-knuckling for a couple of weeks. I felt some intense pain but not the life threatening that makes you cry like a baby but I did come close
Keep posting and reading the forum - duing that walk across the lake of fire I am hoping you find this place as useful as I did!
Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted March 21st, 2011 11:45 AM IP
hi all! i hope everyone is well. socrates, i understand what you mean about the white knuckling. i am currently in the midst of of it as of this writing. i guess i just allowed that childlike hopefulness that is somewhere deep down in all of us to come to the forefront. reading so many encouraging stories can lull one into a false sense security. just wanting for everything to be alright again can really be devastating when it doesnt turn out that way. i am by no means devastated, however i know that i have been somewhat foolish. i thought that somehow i would be able to taper with little or no pain. i was after all special in some way. that is sick thinking. i am grateful though. i now see things in a more realistic light. center and ground. we are knowledge and we are forever learning. what a journey this is!...Garland
god bless us all!
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted March 22nd, 2011 12:42 PM IP
down to 25mg today! i am doing ok. mornings are the roughest. i just feel irritated and cant go back to sleep. a couple of hours after i dose i feel ok. i'm trying my best to fight off the negative feelings and thoughts. going to the gym really helps. i've realized that you have to want it. and thats just the beginning. it's a fight. you have to fight to get back what you lost and i think it's definitely worth the effort.
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted March 23rd, 2011 01:48 AM IP
Hi Garland,
How fast are you going down and what are your targets? Additionally, how fast have you been tapering. I ask all of this because it sounds like you are going pretty fast. Grant it, I jump at a pretty high dose and was rapidly tapering. I did all of this because I was not feeling any effects when tapering but once I jumped I felt the impact pretty badly.
Are you under some sort of pressure to detox/taper faster?
Best Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted March 23rd, 2011 10:54 AM IP
hi socrates, i am currently tapering at 5mg a week. this is my third week coming down from 35mg. i am able to handle it so far. the only problems are in the mornings before i dose. an hour or so after i dose everything is ok. i am planning to stay the course. if things get too rough i will go to every 2 weeks. i really wasnt experiencing any adverse symptoms until last week . i now have it under control. i really thought i would go out with no pain. i guess reading so many positive stories i set my hopes high. the only pressure im under is self induced. i want to be free yesterday you know? ...garland
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted March 23rd, 2011 05:02 PM IP
I was eager just like you and when the jumping point hit, I had to run across the lake of fire. It was long and tough but I got through it.
In retrospect, you may want to slowdown a bit more as you get super close; example, once you hit 5mg, go down 1mg per week. I know it sounds crazy but you will smooth out your body by lots before jumping.
In all honesty, I did it like you are now doing it. I am sort of a sadist when it comes riding through the pain
Best of luck my friend and keep on posting.
Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted March 25th, 2011 10:06 AM IP
hello socrates. i just wanted to say thanks for the advice. i have decided to slow it down a bit. i now see that the way i have been going about this taper has been a bit reckless. when you are depsperate you tend to hear only what you want to hear and forget the rest. going back over some of the taper stories i see that a lot of them say going slowly is the key. i just didnt want to hear that before. i wanted to be free as soon as possible. that kind of reckless approach has has caused chaos in my life in the past. i realize that this isnt just about getting off the methadone but also learning how to live again. rational decision making is part of the process. hope you have a good weekend. garland
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted March 25th, 2011 11:49 AM IP
Hi Garland,
Your post is very pointed or should I say spot on. I was so sick and tired of driving to the clinic, waiting in line with showerless people that were gaming the system, and paying a lots of money for what seemed like it was all for nothing. The bottomline is that I had overlooked what Methadone was doing for me and looking beyond the present and pressing on it. I feel lucky that nothing went bad. I think it helped having a girlfriend that was nothing of the sort when it came to drugs but still - I took big risks.
My best advice is that you spend two weeks at 1mg - the time and extra money will be worth it.
During the two weeks you will know if you have to nudge back up or sit there for a bit.
Lastly,start working on creating a healthy sense of "self". Do things to raise your self esteem and confidence. Things you can do are... eat well as best as you can, take walks at night or during the day, ditch any and all drug friends, and lastly, raise the level of having a positive outlook on life in regards to what you can be in life!
Best of Luck and know that we are all here supporting you!
Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted March 30th, 2011 11:40 AM IP
hello everyone! @ 25mg for another week. i will go down to 20mg next week. just taking it slow. i seem to be doing ok right now. eating as good as i can, going to the gym, and taking vitamins every day. i will try my best to continue doing this even after i come off of the methadone. keep on truckin'
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted April 3rd, 2011 01:12 PM IP
Sorry for not commenting sooner but by reading your post, you look to be in a steady state and everything looks smooth.
Please keep posting because it helps everyone on the forum - present and future.
Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted April 7th, 2011 11:28 PM IP
counselor forgot to put in for a decrease again. i will remain at 25 for another week. i'm ok with it though. doing ok physically. struggling somewhat mentally. just trying to remain focused.
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted April 9th, 2011 10:03 PM IP
Be sure to go easy on yourself and keep your spirits high!
So far, you sound like you are holding up pretty good.
Regards,
-s
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted April 13th, 2011 10:42 AM IP
my counselor forgot to put in for a decrease yet again. i had to confront her about this situation. i really dont think that most of the counselors here care much about their clients. i believe its just a job for most of them. recovery is kind of a personal thing anyway. the taper process has been up and down for me. however, i strongly believe that i will meet my goal. just knowing that it is possible has helped me tremendously. alright socrates, i hope you are doing well and i'll see you later. garland
god bless us all!
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garland
Member
Posts: 11
Registered: Feb 2011 |
Posted April 16th, 2011 01:12 PM IP
hope evertone is ok. just writing while its raining outside. im self employed and business is picking up right now. it helps to keep my mind off of the taper and all. dont need to take things quite so serious. tuesday i will go down to twenty. i am going to ride it all the way down to 1mg. will i ever be glad when that day gets here.
god bless us all!
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted April 18th, 2011 12:55 PM IP
Hi Garland,
Once again, you seem to be real steady on where everything is going and you sound confident.
I have been so busy these days that I may have a harder time responding rather quickly going forward.
I mostly live out of my email and do little to nothing when it comes to Facebook and all that other stuff including this site as well.
Please feel free to PM me for my email address as coming here may become more challenging as I get into some stuff that will take up lots of my bandwidth here shortly.
Glad to see that your focus and resolve is strong!
Regards,
-s
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ncmommy
Member
Posts: 3
Registered: Jan 2012 |
Posted January 9th, 2012 10:15 AM IP
OK So here is my story. I am not going to go into all that went on while I was using. But I have been on methadone for a little over 3 years now. I was up to 130mg per day and am now down to 2mg per day. I started coming down 10mg a per week, when I got to 50 I started doing 5 a week and then at 20 I started doing 1 a week. I didn't have any real problems until I went from 5mg to 4mg. I thought I was going to die. I was going through some personal issues at the time as well so I thought I was having a breakdown to be honest. I did not know that it was actually withdrawal until I got online and started researching methadone withdrawal. I stayed on 4 mg for about a month because I did not want to go through withdrawals during the holidays. I went down to 3mg on December 30th and then down to 2mg this past Friday January 6th. I honestly do not know if it is more psychological than anything but I feel like I am withdrawing again. It is not as bad as it was when I went from 5 to 4 but it is not good either. There is one thing that helps me sleep but I don't think I can post it on here. My doctor gave me a prescription for Vistaril which I am getting filled today to see if it works. I have also heard that clonodine works. It is a blood pressure medicine and I have very low blood pressure so my doctor would not prescribe it for me. I am scared to death right now. I have heard such horror stories about coming off methadone. I am a paralegal and I can't miss work or be sick right now. I am just so sick of being on methadone.
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Finallyachance
Member
Posts: 83
Registered: Nov 2011 |
Posted January 9th, 2012 11:54 AM IP
Wow I am a paralegal too and does nc in your name for north carolina? I am in North Carolina. Wow what a taper/detox. I am very proud of you no matter how corny that sounds because 2mg is 2mg from no dose at all. I can't even think about detoxong without getting panicked. Now I am panicked thinking that you got all the way down to 2-4 mgs and still feeling withdrawals I would think that low would be no withdrawals. but then again I am not thinking right because you are there or otherwise you would be off all together. I live in Hendersonville so I have to go to Asheville to get my takehomes but I go only once a week, but being tied down to a clinic is a real pain in the arse. You are almost free. Keep os opdated I want to hear how the rest goes for you. You are very inspiring to us that want to think it is possible to get off this at some time. Just can only venture to say some time in the future but not any time soon for me not yet. Thanks.
Wishing You Well
in Life, Love and Health, Finallyachance
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riojackson
Member
Posts: 28
Registered: Sep 2009 |
Posted January 16th, 2012 03:28 PM IP
I went down, starting in 09 from around 120ish, to 24mg. Then being the strong armed fool I was (I was on a timetable anyhow, and this is the only time I could deal with detox within the next 4 years), I decided to jump ship last month. Even at 24mg, it was hell to go through.
Pardon me while I be 100% blunt.
Things I learned during my cold turkey that works:
Kratom - low dose, ALWAYS take tagamet before hand, it makes it last longer
Multi-Vitamins- I don't wanna list them all, look up the Thomas Recipe. I didn't think it would help at all.
Promethazine- helped alot during the last 2 weeks, nausua was terrible.
Epson Salt- Especially the first week, I was taking 7-9 epson salt baths a day, sitting there reading for an hour. It has magnesium in it, which you absorb and helps with the stiffness in legs
Benzos (used responsibly)- helped ALOT to get to sleep at first. With alternating kratom and benzos every 2 days or so I was able to sleep almost every night, for a good 5 -6 hours. I stopped after the middle of the second week. Used it sparingly afterwards since.
Yoga- I've been doing these every morning starting after week 2 when I could actually get up and move.
I am particularly fond of this set, I do it around sun up every day
http://anmolmehta.com/blog/2007/04/...exercises-ch-2/
Some kind of support from an actual human, someone who is either going through what your going through (in my case), or someone who's been there. I probably would have gotten super bored, and probably started drinking more then I already did!
and finally....
Weed.( no explanation needed, smoke as needed, or even when bored)
Stuff that didn't work:
For obvious reasons.....
Booze
Vodka
Booze (no matter how good you'll think you'll feel, it doesn't help in the long run)
Cocaine (ugh that was real stupid idea)
Adderall (see above)
Overindulging in xanax
My cat. (little jerk woke me up every morning at 5, but I still love the little guy
Things that I thought would help, but either did a)nothing or b) neutral, as it didn't make me feel worse off, but it didn't exactly help either.
Hallucinogens- I'll keep the names of what I did to myself, but suffice to say, it made me think alot, not sure what effect it really had on me. If you plan to do this, wait till your physical withdrawals are over, no one wants to trip uncomfortably.
Ibprofen - Not sure if this did anything at all.
Tobbaco- I don't smoke, so I don't know how this would help or not, it seemed to help with my friend's anxiety.
Valarien root extract- This is one of these "I think it helped, but I really don't know"
well g2g, I may edit this and add one or 2 more things.
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socrates
*FORUM DIRECTOR*
Posts: 960
Registered: May 2007 |
Posted January 16th, 2012 06:59 PM IP
Rio,
That was a fun read - I would not change a thing about it - awesome.
Keeping it real helps, I would only add on your behalf that "Rio is not a Dr. and nor does he give out medical advice - this post is only for informational purposes"
(that covers the litigious society portion )
Once again, great post!
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liquidhandcuffs
Member
Posts: 5
Registered: Jan 2012 |
Posted January 19th, 2012 02:35 PM IP
Hi all, I'm new to the forum, and I'm so glad I found it! I've been on MMT for a year, and I've tapered from 100mg, now down to 20mg, and I'm having a hard time convincing myself to follow through with it. The only reason I'm detoxing is because of the pressure from my family and fiance. When I was at 40-50 mg, I was doing just fine. I wasn't over-medicated, and I was able to go through my day doing everything I needed to do. If it was up to me, I'd go back up to 40 and be there for life. Being at 20 is miserable. I get through the day alright, until the sweats and irritability kicks in around 6pm. I sleep through the night with the help of 5 or 6 benadryl, but in the a.m. on my way to the clinic, I'm a sweaty, bitchy mess. I guess I'm having an internal struggle whether or not I should please myself or please others. Being at such a low dose, I've been taking whatever opiates or benzos I can get my hands on to ease the w/ds anyways, so it seems I'm defeating the purpose of tapering in the first place. Any thoughts?
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Methadone Anonymous Forums :: REGULAR FORUMS :: DETOX/TAPER :: Your personal experience for Tapering (What worked and what didn't)
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From the beautiful mountains of Scottsdale, Arizona...(and the shopping ain't bad either, lol!)...... 
