From the beautiful mountains of Scottsdale, Arizona...(and the shopping ain't bad either, lol!)......



....to our community of Support Forums! From Medication Assisted Treatment and Methadone Anonymous to chronic pain and PREGNANCY....there's a little something for everyone.

Please be sure to click on the link below for our website, there's LOTS to see!!

Don't forget to post your local Methadone Anonymous meetings in the "Meeting Forum"!!!

we are a patient AND provider friendly community!!




Forum Mama - Carol Sholiton


Carol@MethadoneSupport.org

aaaaaaand......

Forum Director - Mike Scott ("Mike9158")


Mike@MethadoneSupport.org




Welcome to all the new folks from MA World Services!!
Make yourselves comfortable and don't forget to register!!




**********************************************************************
ONLINE MA MEETINGS ~ SUPPORT GROUPS ~ COMMUNITY CHATROOM
**********************************************************************




HELP YOURSELF TO ONE OF OUR POSTERS/FLIERS!!



This site is Not Intended for and Does Not Give Medical Advice....  

HONcode accreditation seal. We comply with the HONcode standard!
verify here.


IMPORTANT - Please Read!


Methadone Anonymous Forums


**This community of support forums does NOT endorse the advertisements seen below! They are simply the price one must pay to have a "FREE" forum!**



Post new topic Post reply

Page: 1 2
Author Message
mike9158
*FORUM DIRECTOR*

Posts: 2763
Registered: Jul 2007
 Posted October 19th, 2013 02:37 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Hi to everyone at MSO. Some of you might know me from my many years here and some of you newer members may not.
I know I have not been here in a long time and I apologise for that. That past few years have been some of the most difficult of my life and I suspect the years ahead are not going to get a whole lot better. But one thing I have learned as an addict over the years is...life is what it is. We change what we can and we accept the rest. Without turning this post into a pity party, let me just say this, in June of 2009, I had a TIA (Tranzient Ischemic Attack or Mini-Stroke), in October 2011, I had a full stroke. In August 2012 I was medically retired from my job by the State of Kentucky. In January 2013 I had infected gallblatter stones removed from my gallblatter and pancreas and then had my gallblatter removed in March. In May of 2013 I was diagnosed as early stage Alzheimers with mild dementia and two weeks ago I was told that the Alzheimers has advanced a stage and the dementia has grown worse. It now takes me twice as long to type and to say my words and most everything else. In a nut shell, it all sucks. But I take my methadone and I'm alive and share my life with my beautiful wife each day.

My reason for coming here today is to thank my hero Carol, whom I used to refer to as my Queen. I started my methadone program on December 10, 1998. By 2007, I had been on methadone, I had been on a drug called Or'Laam (the next "big thing in addiction treatment") and pretty well thought I knew everything about myself, about addiction, about recovery and just about everything else an addict thinks he knows. Then I joined MSO and met people like Carol, Zenith, Socrates, Kei, Donna and some others. And I learned that I didnt know SHIT about myself either as an addict in recovery or a man. I knew little about my addiction and even less about my life. Carol and her friends opened my eyes and opened my mind and taught me so much about this world we live in as addicts. I met so many good people here who shared this disease with me, who struggled and cried, who felt the same anger, the same frustration, the same shame, who had the same questions I had. At a time when I came close to giving it all up, this place became my life line and again saved my life, saved my recovery and helped me to become a better person. I told Carol then that I would never forget her or what she and MSO did for me and allowed me to do for myself. She allowed me to be the forum director here for years where I had the chance to meet hundreds of others who came here just like I did with issues and questions and problems and fears and feelings of hopelessness. And, as you can probably tell by the number of posts I have had, I have spent a good deal of time on here with a great number of people. It has been an honor and a privilege as well as a wonderful life lesson. I have learned as much as I have given, believe me.

But make no mistake. MSO is Carol's baby. Always has been, always will be...and most importantly, always SHOULD be. We all grow older and we all have personal issues that come into our lives that effect us in terrible ways. I know at one point that without MSO, I would have been lost and might have even lost my recovery. And I suspect my friend Carol, whom I love very dearly, is at that point. I think MSO is something that she can not lose and should not lose.

Because of my own personal health and because of the medical procedures I have to deal with on a routine basis, I really do not have a great desire to post at MSO every day. For one thing, it takes me so darn long to type where you all can read it and have it make sense. For another thing, I have never been one to get involved with petty arguments or stand for one person disrespecting another. IF YOU ARE TRULY AN ADDICT, AND YOU ARE HERE AND TRULY IN RECOVERY, THAT BY IT'S VERY NATURE DEMANDS RESPECT. If you have never really been an addict and have never laid in bed at night dreading the morning because you were hurting so bad without your drugs and knowing you have no drugs and no money, then you have no business pretending to know what an addict feels like and should not judge an addict in the first place.

That being said, I know Carol is also having personal issues of her own with her daughter and her own health...and for those of you younger than us....I don't mean this as a smart ass but trust me, it WILL happen to you, I will be more than happy to come back here to help out in any way I can as long as I am not stepping on anyone's toes.

I know Carol still has me listed as forum director on the front page but we all know I have not been here so I would never come in here trying to boss anyone around. Just trust me on one thing that I do know...Carol made MSO from absolutely nothing many years ago. To my knowledge, unless something changed since I was last on her board, it really isn't a democracy....lol. MSO is Carol's baby. She has brought hundreds if not thousands of people together over the years and she has impacted hundreds of lives over the years through MSO. Believe me, she knows and I know that MSO isn't what it used to be. Maybe some of that is my fault. You really can't help what issues life throws at you and for me, everyday I get up and look in the mirror, as long as I know the dumb ass looking back at me, it's a decent day.

Carol would like me to come back but I would like to have some HONEST feed back from the others that have been running the show. PLEASE...no BS...no gossip...just tell me whats up and we can go from there.

I just added this to one of my five goals for 2013.
1) Knowing who I am everyday
2) Getting back on my Harley for one more trip
3)Getting thru this shit to see my grandchildren all talk
4)Keeping our home and pets in order for my wonderful wife each day
5)Helping Carol with MSO if I can.

Carol. in closing, I just want to tell you thank you for changing my life and for you and your friends for truly showing me what recovery is all about. The opportunity you gave me to give back to other addicts is something that I will never forget. You should always be proud Carol. Your MSO has brought together thousands of addicts and their families over the years. It has provided solid information to family members who were lost by their loved ones' addictions. Just think, without you Carol, there would never have been an MSO. It's just that simple. How awesome is that? And in my "humble" opinion...because we all know I am so humble, you are still the MSO "QUEEN"....so smile and be the Queen. If you want, I will be here to help.
   
mike9158
*FORUM DIRECTOR*

Posts: 2763
Registered: Jul 2007
 Posted October 19th, 2013 02:49 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Oh, and by the way, you all can reach me at mike@methadonesupport.org or michael_scott9158@yahoo.com and I am also on FaceBook as Michael Scott. I am not bashfull about my past addiction. And it has nothing to do with bravery or anything noble like that. It's just that I turned 58 the 17th of October, I'm just glad to still be alive and be able to walk, talk and recognize my friends and family. And beneath it all, I am still the old guy who wants to ride his Harley, fornicate, flip his finger to those who don't like it and beat the hell out of this disease we call addiction. Zoom zoom.
   
zac_talbott
Unregistered

Posts: 314
Registered: Apr 2013
 Posted October 19th, 2013 03:57 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
So good to see you back & posting @Mike!! I hate to hear all the things you've gone through. I am no stranger to health problems myself fighting two chronic illnesses (other than opioid addiction - I guess that makes 3! ugh) and dealing with a host of medical problems and pain, etc. Unfortunately it hits the young as well (if 30s is young)! But I'm glad you are doing better and am so thrilled you are going to be coming back around the forums. They've been coming in waves recently - there's been a time or two - especially after I've encouraged folks to come over and post or join on Facebook, etc. - that it's gotten pretty dang busy! We've had a new poster or two recently as well. But then there are slow times as well, as happens with all forums I suppose. This is the age of Social Media and Mobile Apps so I think that's where the future is headed iykwim?

I don't know anyone who would ever question that MSO is Carol's! She has put much work and time into the website and forums in years past, and she does - after all - own the domain! So it really IS technically "hers" for sure! ;-) lol I'm aware she's been sick recently and struggling with a teenager. We have a 15 year old ourselves & Carol and I have spoken on the phone a couple times in the past couple months about our mutual health struggles and problems. I hope she continues to get strong.

Again, great to have you back! I sooo look forward to your posts!

Zac Talbott
   
shelly6906
Power Poster

Posts: 210
Registered: Sep 2012
 Posted October 20th, 2013 10:23 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
I just love reading about the history!!!! And the ppl who started this GREAT support site! I would like to learn more about how caorl got it started and up and running !!! As Zac said a lot of new ppl have been posting , and I'm one of them! I enjoy this site and the ppl I interacted with! This is my support !! I was on MMT many years ago got off had to get back on but get my methadone thur a chronic pain doctor. reason being all the years on methadone messed up my endorphins in my brain, and cause me to have severe RLS (restless leg syndrome) I was tested put on every drug for it nothing worked,decided to get back on !!! I have a husband who is the opposite of me and does not understand what addiction means. And I can't tell family or friends because of the of the stigma!!! Thsnks for sharing I really enjoyed Mike !!
shell6906
   
zac_talbott
Unregistered

Posts: 314
Registered: Apr 2013
 Posted October 20th, 2013 10:54 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
I hate to hear you can't open up to your family & friends @shelly!! But that's why forums like this are so important to sooo many people: This IS that place of support and safety! I'm so glad you came to the board and are getting involved! I've enjoyed getting to know you both here and via Google+! Carol is also going through a chronic pain doc instead of a clinic now - she talks about it in some of the older threads - and MSO has long catered to both MMT patients as well as those on methadone for chronic pain.... So you're right in the right place! I hope everyone's having a super duper Sunday!

xo

Zac Talbott
   
socrates
*Moderator*

Posts: 982
Registered: May 2007
 Posted October 20th, 2013 01:33 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Hi Mike,

What an amazing post. The best post I have read ever! - not kidding. And then you say you have all these impactful issues going on in the background... You are right, it is what it is but you rise above it and with all that there is - you can only keep on trucking... through the thunderstorms, snow storms, ice, and reckless drivers in life.

You may find it helpful to be the "twitter" of the bunch. Just a quick line will keep it going. I know that your masterful posts with such great articulation is your level of expectation put upon yourself based on reading your posts; they always land so superbly. But, just posting is powerful by itself even if it does not cover the depth that you are capable of throwing down on this forum.

I have been a bit distracted lately with my dad's health problems and a job that has become pretty all consuming along with my compulsive disorder being channeled into investing; stock market is not a good place for an addict with a brain that never shuts off.

All my personal issues are petty compared to the days of me raising hell upon everyone including myself.

Mike, I have watched you provide some pretty extreme heartfelt interactions on here that has been most impressive.

Even if you cannot be on here for a day or a year, I would like you to be the Uber Director (on behalf of the Queen) for the sake of respect and all that you have done.

There will be leaders on here (and they know who they are) that will carry the load and will be shining heroes. Everyone steps up when needed and the forum provides a rich reference for those that "want to know".

Lots of people were about traffic but many members talk about reading posts long before joining.

Lastly, all of us have built an extensive repository of experience and opinions that is invaluable! Many thanks to you Mike and all the others that make it possible!

Warm Regards,
socrates
   
zac_talbott
Unregistered

Posts: 314
Registered: Apr 2013
 Posted October 20th, 2013 08:18 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Well said socrates... I think you've made some really good points. Sometimes just a one line post can be liberating - and sometimes the person you're responding to appreciates just knowing someone cares! We all have to lean on each other, and from time to time the load might shift back and forth - but ultimately we're all in this together... For our own sake & the sake of other patients and our peers.

I hope everyone's had a great weekend... Monday comes early!

Zac Talbott
   
sapphire
*MODERATOR*

Posts: 1273
Registered: Feb 2010
 Posted October 21st, 2013 10:27 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Hi Mike, great to see you back.
You can email me at Sapphire@methadonesupport.org
   
Finallyachance
Power Poster

Posts: 167
Registered: Nov 2011
 Posted October 21st, 2013 03:06 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Mike great to see you back...I know you and Carol both helped me when I got involved in MMT 4 years ago.....I am the forum Mod/Admin at a.t. watchdog and spend much of my time there, especially since we got a whole new unexpected forum facelift, but I have a special place in my heart for this forum too so I stay in touch and post when I can as I am dealing with my Mother who has recently been diagnosed terminal with cancer..

You and carol make a wonderful pair you always have so I am sure between you and Carol,,,,Carol's baby is well looked after.

I look forward to reading your replies and post in the future as they have always been so full of helpful in my recovery... So glad to see ya back.

Wishing You Well

in Life, Love and Health, Finallyachance
   
sapphire
*MODERATOR*

Posts: 1273
Registered: Feb 2010
 Posted October 22nd, 2013 09:01 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Mike, sorry my original reply was so brief, as Zac says, it's not just the older people amongst us that are struggling with illness unfortunately!!

I just wanted you to know that I had read your post, and that I am really glad to see you back at MSO.

I know it might be difficult for you to post, but I think that Socrates had a great suggestion of maybe just doing some short posts?

Anyway, great to see you back, and I look forward to seeing you back again!!

You can email me at Sapphire@methadonesupport.org
   
mike9158
*FORUM DIRECTOR*

Posts: 2763
Registered: Jul 2007
 Posted October 23rd, 2013 06:48 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Thank you to everyone who replied to my post. I mean that sincerely. But I want to be honest and open with everyone about why I wrote that long post. Everyone knows that there is always a lot of gossip and "behind the back" stuff going on in the methadone and recovery world. It's been that way as long as I can remember. And believe me, I'm not pointing the finger at anyone or making accusations, nor am I saying that I have ever been above participating in the gossip crap as it has gone by. I'm sure, in the past, I have been as guilty as anyone.

But thru that "gossip crap" I had heard that some people talked about wanting Carol replaced or fired or whatever because of her not being here. In fact I received an e-mail where people were actually discussing it. And I'm sorry, but that is just wrong. I understand that she has not been present at the forums and I also know the site needs a lot of updates and work. But as we all know and have discussed, Carol has faced numerous health issues of her own as well as deaths in her family and now personal issues with her daughter. I believe in my heart that MSO is HER lifeline right now. And NO ONE needs to come in and try and cut that.
Again, I am not accusing anyone. What I am saying is that if I come back here, we need to pull together and support one another, not go off behind each others backs and plot and/or complain.

I am a very open person and if you want to bitch at me or about me it's okay...I get it. All I ask is that you do it out front, not in some PM or sneaky e-mail. Bring it out front so we can work it out or do what we have to do. And PLEASE, I'm not trying to sound like a bad ass here. I just mean, WE ARE ALL HERE FOR A REASON so let's pull together and make this thing better. If Carol is hurting and falling behind then we need to step up.

I love this place and it means a lot to me. Carol means a lot to me. And to be quite honest, anyone here who is in recovery and is fighting this disease means a lot to me. I would love to see MSO shine again....as long as Carol remains MSO's Queen.

Thanks and please, feel free to give your thoughts and opinions. We are in this together.
   
sapphire
*MODERATOR*

Posts: 1273
Registered: Feb 2010
 Posted October 25th, 2013 08:11 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Are you going to be posting regularly and staying on as Co-Director Mike?

I hope you do carry on posting, you have some really valuable experience which needs to be shared!!

You can email me at Sapphire@methadonesupport.org
   
mike9158
*FORUM DIRECTOR*

Posts: 2763
Registered: Jul 2007
 Posted October 25th, 2013 04:19 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Hi Sapphire,

Carol asked me in an e-mail if I would come back and I told her that as long as I wasn't stepping on anyone's toes, I would. She has been my friend for years and I would help her anyway I can. Besides, it's good for me to type and concentrate. I have health issues of my own I'm dealing with and excercising my mind and my cognitive skills is helpful.

I really don't care one way or the other about "Forum Director" or "Co-Director" and I doubt that Socrates does either. He and I have been here for years and have been friends for years. Titles don't seem to mean much here anymore and if anything, if I was a "newbie", the first thing I would notice when I came to post is that everyone posting has a title but me. Too many "chiefs" with no "indians".

Honestly, when I first came here, Carol ran the place and the moderators answered to her....and they all got along well. When I took over as forum director in 2009 we all got along great. It really seemed to mean something. Then Carol and I had a silly "falling out" for awhile and I left. I agreed to come back in 2011 and everything was going great again. Then I had that damn stroke in October, right after my birthday. Carol and Socrates had to carry the weight and I don't really know what happened after that. Everyone gets older and everyone has personal issues to deal with, including Socrates and Carol.

So here we are in October 2013. I see an e-mail where someone is talking about replacing Carol at MSO and saying things like,"I don't know what she expects of me" and "I don't what I'm supposed to do". So here I am. Carol IS NOT being replaced. I'm not angry, I'm not trying to be a smart ass, I'm not trying to play tough guy....I'm just stating a fact.

Sapphire, I have heard nice things about you. I hope you stay here and help. Yes,
I'm going to be posting as regular as my health allows and as along as I don't forget who I am or where my computer is....lol. I swear to you I'm not an ass hole (most of the time) but Carol is DOWN right now and she is my friend and I get very protective when one of my friends feel like they are getting kicked while they are down. I really look forward to getting to know you. Please, always know you can speak your mind straight up to me. So can your friend Zac. I'm not coming in here trying to pretend I'm the boss because these titles don't mean squat.

We good?
   
Carol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*ADMINISTRATOR*
    Forum Mama
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posts: 3278
Registered: Jan 2005
 Posted October 29th, 2013 02:38 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post

First and foremost......THANKS to Mike and everyone....your kind words mean so very much to me. I try to teach my daughter that all we have is our INTEGRITY...and I LIVE by that......have worked my little tooshie off to try and help folks with their "recovery" or whatever they need.....from chronic pain to constipation, lol.....for many years now.

MSO is an ORGANIZATION.....not "non-profit" YET.....but a very well known organization none the less.....not just a "website and forum", sigh. We are the worldwide resource for Methadone Anonymous (MA)....have been on countless meetings, panels, etc.....back and forth to SAMHSA in DC....could go on and on.....but I don't have to, lol.....my reputation speaks for itself.

I am VERY sorry that the drama that's going on behind the scenes had to end up in our support forums, but so appreciate our "family" here and your support. Might as well clear it all up. In case anyone has heard that I go into the PM's here and read them.....it's unfounded and ludicrous as NOBODY can read anyone's PM's unless they have a password.......and so you know they are asterisked out and cannot be read.....no way no how. If you want.....go to "Excoboard" and get yourself a forum.....TRY it yourself. http://www.excoboard.com

Long as I have your attention, lol......going forward.....Mike will be our Forum Director and Sapphire our Super Duper Moderator. Even tho my life is nutso right now.....I promise to get here more often to post.

Thanks so very much again, everyone! Hopefully the gossip and drama will stop soon.......but even if it doesn't.....it will NOT NOT NOT affect your time here at our forums! Much love to all.........Carol


CAROL SHOLITON
President/CEO
METHADONE SUPPORT ORG.
http://www.MethadoneSupport.org
Carol@MethadoneSupport.org

COME CHECK OUT OUR MAIN WEBSITE!!!!






    
    
    


   
sapphire
*MODERATOR*

Posts: 1273
Registered: Feb 2010
 Posted October 29th, 2013 09:16 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Great to se you posting Carol, and also great that we have an active forum Director in Mike! Yay MSO!!
You can email me at Sapphire@methadonesupport.org
   
Finallyachance
Power Poster

Posts: 167
Registered: Nov 2011
 Posted October 29th, 2013 11:41 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Ahh Carol..I dare say I would hate to have the ability to read PM's myself....We both would have went mad by now lol. Nonetheless, you have the 100 percent support of your sister forum..A.T. Watchdog and well anything seeping over into the DAWG is and will be extinguished.

Hey and btw...if someone wants to overthrow you...well that just goes to show you must have built an empire somebody must want the credit for... COMPLIMENT OF SORTS JUST GONE ABOUT THE WRONG WAY...LOL...and MSO has been around a while and I am sure will always be around thank god and thank you Carol.l

Wishing You Well

in Life, Love and Health, Finallyachance
   
mike9158
*FORUM DIRECTOR*

Posts: 2763
Registered: Jul 2007
 Posted October 29th, 2013 01:05 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Hi to everyone,

Carol, the MSO Queen, I can not tell you how great it is to see you here standing up for yourself and your integrity. It's a shame that you have to even do this because after helping so many addicts for so many years, it just doesn't seem fair that someone would try to go behind your back to hurt you. That being said, that's just the way some cowards are....they can't build up anything themselves, so they thrive on tearing down something great that someone else has built up. As you so elequently stated, your reputation speaks for itself and it will continue to do so as we move into the future.

Sapphire, you are a lady of knowledge and class and I can't think of a better moderator Carol could have for this site. I am old and "windy" and you manage to say more in two sentences than I do in four paragraphs. I look forward to working with you, posting with you and getting to know you better. And hopefully between you and Sonico, or whatever he is calling himself these days, you can continue to teach me English jargon....lol.

FinallyAChance, You are a TRUE friend to both Carol, myself and, if I dare mention her name, to Zenith as well. The fact that you navigate the waters of the various forums and always handle your responsibilities with class, dignity and professionalism, is testiment to your good character. When you cut thru all my BS here....lol....I am saying you are one Hell of a good lady....and all of us are very lucky to have you as a friend.

I have no idea what the future holds here at MSO just as I have no idea what my personal future holds for me in life. Everyday I look into the mirror and recognize the Bozo looking back at me, I figure I'm ahead of the game...lol. So together, let's do this and move on, leaving dust and dirt where it belongs....in the road.

Take care all,

Mike9158
   
KarmaVisor
Member

Posts: 67
Registered: Aug 2013
 Posted October 29th, 2013 01:21 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Nice one Carol

KV

a.k.a Sonico/Nico here!
   
socrates
*Moderator*

Posts: 982
Registered: May 2007
 Posted October 29th, 2013 02:05 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Hi Carol,

Should we not have a disclaimer that PMs will be read. I feel as if there is a trust issue that should be addressed, especially when this is an Anonymous forum. I have received comments about the site through my PM but sought to avoid weighing in on the PM.

Sadly, all of my PMs have been wiped.

My sentiment and concern is that we are not operating openly when those that do not know that PMs are being reviewed. This matter may create conflict with one of our traditions "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."

Lastly, I do hope my post stimulates constructive conversation.

Regards,
-s

   
seraphina
*MODERATOR*

Posts: 221
Registered: May 2013
 Posted October 29th, 2013 04:32 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Hang in there Carol, you have been through years of drama lol and have come out on top always, you will again this time.

I remember when the site first went up over ten years ago and I remember all the hard work that you put into the Hep C site where I met you and when you always talked of a Methadone web site and you did it, it became your baby. It will always be yours, Carol.

You have my support always and you will be my friend always. I may not be on the site as much as I used to be because as you know I have terrible health issues right along with just about everyone it seem ***sigh***, but you are in my heart and my prayers every day. I think you know this considering the years we have known one another.

Hey Mike, good to see you. Having you back is great. Socrates, Nico, Sapphire its great to see you here as well in support for our dear friend and "queen".

I just wanted to come in and drop a quick note of hello and support to Carol as I see she could use a little.

I hope everyone else is doing ok.

Love and light!!!!
   
Carol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*ADMINISTRATOR*
    Forum Mama
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posts: 3278
Registered: Jan 2005
 Posted October 29th, 2013 06:30 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post

Thanks again, guys. Soc....PM's can ONLY be read by the member that writes them. NOBODY can read anyone's PM w/o their password......and ALL the passwords are asterisked out. "Admin" can only do so much and that is NOT something that can be done on Excoboard. I bend over backwards to ensure anonymity and there is no problem. I only mentioned it because someone with an agenda seems to want to gossip and IN CASE anyone had heard it.....it needed to be cleared up.

I am HOPING that things will go back to normal now......that the gossip/lies will STOP and go on with bidness as usual!

.....Carol


CAROL SHOLITON
President/CEO
METHADONE SUPPORT ORG.
http://www.MethadoneSupport.org
Carol@MethadoneSupport.org

COME CHECK OUT OUR MAIN WEBSITE!!!!






    
    
    


   
KarmaVisor
Member

Posts: 67
Registered: Aug 2013
 Posted October 29th, 2013 07:14 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
As they say 'paranoia will destroy you' - but 'just cause your paranoid does not mean they aint out to get ya' lol - think i got that right...
a.k.a Sonico/Nico here!
   
Finallyachance
Power Poster

Posts: 167
Registered: Nov 2011
 Posted October 29th, 2013 10:04 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Quote:
socrates wrote:
Hi Carol,

My sentiment and concern is that we are not operating openly when those that do not know that PMs are being reviewed. This matter may create conflict with one of our traditions "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."

Lastly, I do hope my post stimulates constructive conversation.

Regards,
-s




Yikes I think maybe it got misunderstood..the point was meant to be PM's are not and can not[u] be read....I am admin at A.T. Watchdog....and I was saying in my post more or less was Thank God we don't have the ability to read PM's.....I personally don't always want to know what everyone is feeling or thinking when a rotten apple begins to spoil the bunch...iyswim...So no need for a disclaimer because every one can be assured no one is seeing what any one writes in the "private messages" a.k.a. "PM"...

Sorry if what I said had added to that confusion...I just wanted Carol to know that she can rest assured that although I can't read anyone's PM's at the DAWG,if I got word of or saw any mentioning of ruining, or overthrowing someone as invested in PRO MMT/MAT as Carol is and has been it would come to a stop over there.

I run the DAWG in the absence of Zenith as she has been suffering some hard times with the loss of her husband and the illness beforehand....and Carol she sends her love and support and feels as strongly as I do, even moreso because she has and was there with you throughout these years that anyone might want to question or criticize and she personally witnessed the time, dedication, work and even your own monies put into the building and upkeep of the organizations you "birthed" AND ALL FOR WHAT OR WHO? All for you and me and all of us out there that participate in medication assisted treatment in and on both State and Federal levels and behind many podiums speaking in and for our rights to be treated with MAT and treated fairly to boot.

Carol, MSO and all included within said Organization has been just as involved and vested in making MAT/MMT a viable option for us as any Pro MMT/MAT organization out there and as stated per Zenith even with her own monies...(I am sure Zenith will not mind as she shared this with me just yesterday....after hearing some of these terrible rumors herself) So all the same I feel we could and should put this all to a close and return to what part each and every one of us play in this PRO MAT/MMT community.

And personally I thank you all on this forum and all Pro MMT/MAT forums for even the members that get on and participate sharing their experiences and knowledge they have regarding Methadone/Suboxone. I am nobody special...I am a methadone patient 4 years now that in a moment of pure panic stumbled upon this forum, the GA Forum and the DAWG when I ran into a situation that threatened my participation in MAT and at my clinic.

I had been on methadone about 9 months, still suffering from withdrawals and sickness every night, but I had qtc issues (527 qtc) and I could not pee in front of anyone and was being ramrodded by nurse ballbreaker at my clinic everytime she had to swab me instead...I needed to have a dreaded and feared Peak and Trough that all the other patients at the clinic were telling me not to do in order to get an increase so I had been scared to push the increase any further....my counselor had quit so I was having to request all these thru the nurses and this one nurse hated addicts in general (the lead nurse) .... But me super bad all because I was sick at how harsh she was with the patients and I had written a grievance on her for telling us all in the lobby if we did not like the way the clinic ran there were plenty more druggies that would love to take our place in line.....

So this one day at 5:00 a.m. as usual because I was sick from midnight on every night.. I walked in to get dosed and I was told by this nurse, before I could dose...I was going to have an observed UA NO EXCEPTIONS...(they always let me have swabs before)...ALSO another EKG and if I scored high I was going to be "treatment teamed" and be decreased in my dose and put on suboxone....and instead of getting my 3 takehomes that day, I would be coming to the clinic at 6 :30 a.m. for the next 3 mornings for observed dosing to end on day 3 with a blood draw..(which they had tried to draw blood three times before to include my admission blood work and had yet to ever be able to hit a vein)....

I knew life as it had been for the last 9 months, pretty damn good (except for late night), drug free, a return to my family and back in my children's life was under threat or attack. I was being targeted by "NURSE BALLBREAKER" ....I SPENT 4 HOURS THERE TRYING TO PEE IN FRONT OF HER, THE GIRL WHO RODE WITH ME LOST HER JOB FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO GET THERE..MY EKG was worse than 527 qtc but thank god, a new temporary counselor (who in time and is now my counselor) finally spoke up and allowed me to get dosed despite the nurses threats to not dose me because of the UA "willful refusal" the nurse wrote me up for....

It was an effin nightmare that day....but after riding up and down the drug dealer's road in search for Opana's...I decided to ride over across town to another methadone clinic which was closed but I talked to a nurse in the parking lot who told me if I felt I was targeted I could transfer...she spent like an hour outside her car door talking to me in that parking lot...I was hysterical. She also mentioned I had avenues of organizations that might help me with being targeted and for me to go home get online and search them out which is what I did and I found this place....Actually No I found the GA forum...where within an hour I got a response back from her....My thread was hysterical and even tho they were quick to try to calm me...nothing would so I kept looking for more and more.

I spent the next 2 or 3 days on the internet with them ruthann and deb, on here which Carol and Mike immediately began to try to soothe me and the DAWG where Zenith, Chris Kelly, Momo and a a few other members on each forum did the same...I used all three forums more like chatrooms than like the usual forums....I had never been on either tho before this moment in my life...usual meaning: make a few post, wait til next day look for responses and make more posts etc....I would write these long (pages) post/threads of my feelings, fears and questions, copy paste on the other two forums the same, then read all the responses I got on all three forums from my last post usually all in the same day or few hours and then to begin all over a few hours later...This went on like this for weeks....

Everyone on all three forums sympathized with me and many wrote me multiple posts and PM's all in the same day....With any free time between crying, writing, copying, pasting, crying more writing more etc..etc...etc...I would use that time to research MMT/MAT in general on the internet and talk with my newly found friends and support system.... and within weeks 6 to be close, I had transferred clinics, wrote several grievances, the nurse lost her job soon thereafter while I was gone to the new clinic, the old clinic administrator called and ask me to come back to the original clinic because my peak and trough results were indicative of a needed increase regimen and split dose and the clinic I was attending he knew would not accommodate me....So nonetheless and therefore, I had become very active in all three forums to say the very least....etc...

I am sure by now after reading the above, even Carol and Mike remember now who I am as they and everyone from all three forums really had a mess on their hands with me.....and I kept them busy as hell and writing/working a lot at first.... They would tell me to breathe and even get away from the computer writing about it so much...also saying I was panicking way too much, things would get better, etc...OMG they were all my lifeline at that time...

But/And then of course there were even some tough lover's on all three forums that told me to shut up and stop or slow down on all the writing of the "books/novels" and to "please use paragraphs not page long paragraphs"...also, "I needed to see a shrink instead of using the forums", and furthermore, "Was I on medication if not I need to be" etc..But thank God, I could depend on some of you ole timer's like Zenith, Mike, Carol, Momo, and even sweet sapphire to run to my rescue and tell them to leave me alone...I would simmer down in time and when I could, etc...

They always knew what to say to help me and they never left a post/thread unanswered...There will always be new members to walk in and blend in or shake shit up but I aspire to be like one or all the above mentioned ole timer's and stick around and help fellow MMTer's with their struggles along the way. After my entrance into the forum community I owe a duty to be there as I was well taken care of and by a bunch of strangers at first that cared enough about the MAT purpose and mission to tackle issues even a panic stricken worry wart but also at all levels well beyond forum attendance and/or mentoring...

And please know and truly absorb this....forum attendance and mentoring is very important and no less of a commitment than the ones who lobby, write, appeal and assist in the rules of the MMT/MAT....getting and staying involved on forum levels and like we all do keeps the message alive and our community armed with information and "know How's" on the ground floor. So even in times of drama, there is a time to fight it out and a time to end in retreat (which is not the same as defeat) I need this place, the DAWG and all above SO LET'S MOVE ON WITH THE ISSUES left unresolved and consider this one "Old News"

And sorry but yes, here I am still writing novels again and at times I get in a tizzy once in a while and preach about something too much lol...etc..... But my hopes here just now were to end all the worries and frets above and do what I know everybody wants to do and discuss what we are here for. I hope you all found "The story of my MMT Beginnings" interesting enough...and oh btw, Mike, Carol, Sapphire, Z, Momo and the members gone unnamed in my beginnings and the GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN..... THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU ALL DID FOR ME THEN AND NOW...

Oh just tidbit more history:
The name finallyachance was born out of my DAWG name wayovermyhead because within 24 hours of finding these forums and registering on this one with my real name (not knowing it was uncool) I went from things being Way over my head (on the DAWG) to a day later having finally a chance (on MSO).....


Wishing You Well

in Life, Love and Health, Finallyachance
   
Finallyachance
Power Poster

Posts: 167
Registered: Nov 2011
 Posted October 29th, 2013 10:06 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Don't kill the messenger here even if it was way tooooo looonnnggg
Wishing You Well

in Life, Love and Health, Finallyachance
   
KarmaVisor
Member

Posts: 67
Registered: Aug 2013
 Posted October 30th, 2013 02:23 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
i dont want to shoot you for that post but my reading skills are naff, i will give it a shot though ok...
a.k.a Sonico/Nico here!
   
KarmaVisor
Member

Posts: 67
Registered: Aug 2013
 Posted October 30th, 2013 02:27 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
em i think your worrying too much there imo from the parts that went in...i hardly send pm's and seriously believe no one here would if they could but as you cant, i repeat cant read pm's all is good

YOU CAN NOT READ PM'S ( i used to be a mod nd never tried but i did open a site using this servr/service and ws very tricky to use, not user friendly dunno how Carol copes! )

a.k.a Sonico/Nico here!
   
sapphire
*MODERATOR*

Posts: 1273
Registered: Feb 2010
 Posted October 30th, 2013 09:45 AM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Quote:
socrates wrote:
Hi Carol,

Should we not have a disclaimer that PMs will be read. I feel as if there is a trust issue that should be addressed, especially when this is an Anonymous forum. I have received comments about the site through my PM but sought to avoid weighing in on the PM.

Sadly, all of my PMs have been wiped.



Carol's saying that PM's are not being read though, is that right?

If there is ever the chance that they may be looked at by someone else in the future, I think as Socrates says, that we should make people aware of that, so that everything is completely transparent?

You can email me at Sapphire@methadonesupport.org
   
Finallyachance
Power Poster

Posts: 167
Registered: Nov 2011
 Posted October 30th, 2013 12:14 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Yes that is what she is saying....PM's are private on any and every site I have ever been on.
Wishing You Well

in Life, Love and Health, Finallyachance
   
mike9158
*FORUM DIRECTOR*

Posts: 2763
Registered: Jul 2007
 Posted October 30th, 2013 01:18 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
HI all,

Wow. FinallyAChance...I too am famous for posts that are too long and I truly admire those like Socrates and Sapphire who can say all that needs to be said in a few sentences and get the meaning across perfectly. Still, I am more than honored to read anything you deem as important my friend.

That being said, thank you for your story and thank you also for the kind words. I find myself at a point in my own life where they are especially important to me.

And, as long as no one attempts to hurt others I care for, good people like Carol, FinallyAChance, Zenith, etc...I too am more than willing to let this fall by the way side and leave it in the road where it belongs. Because you are right my friend (FinallyAChance)...the bigger picture is being here for those who need us. There will be newbies in the future that stumble on to us here and at the other forums who will all need the same attention that you did and that I did when I first arrived at MSO in 2007. And, as always, you never know when one of us ourselves will need the support we so freely give. That's the scary thing about this disease....every addict is just a phone call away from humility.

I am glad I am here and I am glad all of you are here with me. I would like to extend a thank you to my friend Socrates who was one of the "originals" along with Zenith when I first made my way here. I know Socrates isn't around as much as he used to be and hopefully, he will be again. But this guy has been a great "support beam" for me over the years and an extremely intelligent and knowledgable member of this community.
And KarmaVisor, alias Sonico, I don't know how many of you truly know this guy's story, but if you haven't heard it, you should. He was the inspiration that made me stay once I got here. You've heard of the old saying that life is "so bad you could just jump off a roof?" Well Sonico did just that and lived to tell about it and mamanaged to find a successful methadone program through it all while living thru all of life's other BS (family death, children gone astray, illness....etc...). His story is quite amazing.

All of you are. And so we move on. And Carol, my Queen, feel free to lead the way....lol. Thanks to everyone. Take care.

Mike9158
   
Finallyachance
Power Poster

Posts: 167
Registered: Nov 2011
 Posted October 30th, 2013 01:25 PM   IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
Just for the record the same trouble maker is continuing to make ruin in more emails/PM regarding Carol, Abby Me etc...He has been banned from Watchdog....So he will desist in using forums as a place to make threats and harms on any Pro MMT member
(Edited by Finallyachance)

Wishing You Well

in Life, Love and Health, Finallyachance
   



Posts:
Registered:
 Posted    IP           Reply with quote Edit Post Delete post
  
Methadone Anonymous Forums :: REGULAR FORUMS :: METHADONE DISCUSSION :: Carol and MSO
Page: 1 2
Mark all forums read
Logout
All times are EST
Forum jump:
Thread Options:
Delete thread / Open/Close thread / Rename thread / Stick thread / Move thread / Merge thread

Post new topic Post reply
< Previous thread | Next thread > | Subscribe to thread |



WHO'S DA BEST??!!
Rate this Site for Psych Central:


*Disclaimer*...We are not health professionals and all information should be checked with your healthcare provider.