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Dakota
Member
Posts: 1
Registered: Feb 2004 |
 Posted February 27th, 2004 04:50 PM IP   
Ok so can someone please explain something to me.
I really don't understand the butch thing.
Why do women purposely go out of their way to make themselves look unattractive..?
Being a lesbian is about being a woman that's with another woman. If you are a lesbian how can you possibly be attracted to something that looks like the complete opposite of your chosen sexuality?
It may just be me because I'm fem and I get a lot of sh*t from the butch girls on the scene. But I don't see the harm in looking & acting "straight". Most gay people are straight acting before they come out. Then all of a sudden they're camp or butch because they feel thats how they need to act. As if to confirm their sexuality.
I think it's discusting that I get ill treated for being completely myself. But when someone gets abuse for being 'camp/butch' eveyone falls to their knees with sympathy. So why is it ok for me to get sh*t but not them?
For a community of peoples who preach fairness and equality and 'No Hate', we are in-turn hypocrites.
Anyone thats says homosexuals aren't biggots or two faced are somewhat mistaken.
As a majority was are all of the above. How many men do you know that aren't up their own arses and howmany lesbians won't give you the time of day because their 'busy' (reviewing their profiles on gaydargirls).. It's all a bunch of bollox.
The only time we as a collective people come together and sometimes forget the bitching is Aids weekend. AN thats only because everyone wants to era mark it each year with a "guess who i shagged on aids weekend" story for the pub.
Seriously, how pathetic are we.
I'm very proud to be a "straight" homosexual but at the same time it's disappointing to know that hetrosexuals are against my kind of lesbianism and so are the gay community.
Where do we turn from here?
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Fingers
Member
Posts: 75
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted February 29th, 2004 03:53 AM IP
I don't deliberatly go out of my way to look 'butch', it's the way I am happiest, I have dressed the same all of my life (well since I was 5)... People can either except me for what I am and how I look of they can f*ck off, I couldn't give a s*it if a woman is 'Butch' or 'Fem' at the end of the day it's what is inside that counts...
As for purposely making myself look unnatractive, I don't do any such thing, I look as I always have, not Brtiney Spears but not like the back end of a bus either. I'm not sure how other 'Butch's' feel about being stereotyped, but I find it rude and totally uncalled for.
You are being happy being a 'Fem' and I am happy being a 'Butch', if you knew of all the crap I get thrown at me by 'Fem's', well lets just say your point might not seem so bad...
I get treated like s*it by 'Fem's' but do you see me in here going into one about it?
NO, because I don't put everyone in the same category, I'm not that silly, so a few 'Butch's' have upset you, they are obviously as ignorant as a certain 'Fem'.
We are ALL diferent, each likes what they like and dislikes what they dislike, you are entitled to have an opinion and a preference, but to label every 'Butch' a bitch is not fair, I wouldn't do it to you...
Tellin it as it is...
And getting shot down for it!!!
Ah well shit happens 
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southernsoftee
Member
Posts: 877
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted February 29th, 2004 07:08 PM IP
I don't consider myself a butch (see my pics on my profile, and let me know what you think). I consider myself more mediocre, ie not extremely butch, but also no way femme, more a soft butch.
I dress casual, jeans and shirt or tshirt, a tom-boy, it's the way I dress, have always dressed, and will always dress. It's what I find comfortable to me, and I feel good about myself when I dress this way. If you don;t feel comfortable in yourself with your own dress code, then how can people feel confortable around you?
I am attracted to femme women, I can't help that, I always have been. I dated a woman once who did everything masculine, from shaving her face, wearing boxer shorts, wearing mans aftershave on her face etc. It did nothing for me. I looked at her and thought, 'what do I see in this woman?'. If I wanted to be with someone who looked like a man, I WOULD BE WITH A MAN!
I like cute butch women, mediocre women, and femme women, but women who go out of there way to look like men, that doesn't rock my boat at all.
[Edited by southernsoftee]
[Edited by southernsoftee]
http://www.livejournal.com/users/southernsoftee/
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http://www.faceparty.com/southernsoftee
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My website:-
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C@Pt!v@t3d Ph@T
Member
Posts: 56
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 1st, 2004 01:51 AM IP
Whoever said that to be gay you also have to be acceptive and fair and respectful... just cos you're gay don't mean anything about how you should behaviour as a humanistic manner. i find more gay people rude and arrogant and up themselves then i do with the str8's... please don't get me wrong but it is true.
i too don't understand the whole concept of being a total man... so masculine that the female forgets that she herself has female parts and takes up on the role of being male.
be who you are... if you are butch, soft butch, hardcore femme... and so on then be that way. the thing is, and the thing that everyone should remember is that no matter where we are we a judge. it just doesn't solely regions the judgment cos of the type of community.
and its true ... the majority of people in the gay community are harsh and cruel. but thats every where... you either fit in or you don't and make and start your own trend. be an individual.
and when did the gay and lesbian community bring into play the labels? i thought they would be solely against it... seeing as everyone in their own right is an individual and we should be accepted as how we are not who we sleep with.
there are so many labels that i for one cannot be bothered with
peace out
[Edited by C@Pt!v@t3d Ph@T]
there is no safety in numbers, or in anything else...................
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FunkyPunky
Administrator
Posts: 64
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 14th, 2004 05:35 PM IP
Oh how i hate stereotypes. i have short hair, dress the way i want to and i dont class myself as butch.
i think women are women no matter what they wear. we were all born females this is what makes us grow into woman, not by the clothes you wear or how your hair is.
Just my view but i dont think people should be so quick to judge others and stereotype them by putting them into a butch / fem category. 
[Edited by FunkyPunky]
My Messenger is online/offline 
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southernsoftee
Member
Posts: 877
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 14th, 2004 08:19 PM IP
But unfortunately Funky, they do, and there aint nuffin we can do about it. I'm probably guilty of this one myself, and I admit it!
http://www.livejournal.com/users/southernsoftee/
http://www.GaydarGirls.com/southernsoftee
http://www.faceparty.com/southernsoftee
Hotmail Messenger: single_white_lesbian@hotmail.com
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C@Pt!v@t3d Ph@T
Member
Posts: 56
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 20th, 2004 01:46 PM IP
if im honest if i see a total butch. ok by this a butch that wears mens clothing, acts more masculine than the guy next to them and so on. that annoys me and yes i do judge them. we all judge and i think why would you wanna be something you aren't.
i totally agree in expressing who you are. but i for one wanna understand why on earth would you wanna be something that you aren't... might just ask a total butch one day, why they do that and get deck... just kidding.
yes clothing does not have an influence on the personality, but like they say first impressions does last for some time.
be expressive but be prepared to be judged. but hey thats life
I'm guilty of judgment and i have been judged many times before over and over again.
there is no safety in numbers, or in anything else...................
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MojaVoljena
Member
Posts: 6
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 21st, 2004 05:40 AM IP
now this is a topic that'll go one for yearsssss.
butch's judge fems and fems judge butch's...its just the way it is sadly. i personally dont get the whole dress like a man thing and yes i have played the 'how many butch's can you spot walking down the street' game, yep im a saddo but im sure other people have done it in their time as well.
what i dont get is why some lesbians can be so cruel towards each other just coz of how they look! its bad enough we get prejudice from society in general but now we seem to be turning on each other! whats wrong with just accepting people for who they are. ive walked down the street and had 'butchs' give me evil looks and its like WHYYYYYYYY?? some people seriously need to grow up and just get on with their lives.
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Jai
Member
Posts: 132
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 25th, 2004 12:01 AM IP
I don't get the whole bitchyness of it all.. we get enough of it on the scene, and we really don't need it on the message boards too!
I personally, would class myself as a boi.. not totally butch and not totally femme either.. my best friend once told me that I was:
"A Female to Male transgender, with absolutely NO intention of ever going through with any sort of operations or changes".
I will love him forever for that, because, he is probably right..
I haven't worn a skirt since I was 3 years old. On the rare occasions my sister gets bored and I'm her 'guinea pig' for make-up stuff.. I look like a drag queen. I wear a shirt and tie for work (cause on the few occasions I wore the 'required uniform' customers were confused and a few of them complained as to why "A handsome young man such as he would be wearing a blouse?"). I get called "Sir" everywhere I go, and really the only time it bothers me is when I get asked for ID in gay pub toilets.
As for what and who I am attracted to..? It varies... I've dated:
Boyish looking and femme acting
Femme looking, but butch as fuck
Total Femmes
Total Boi's
Drag kings
Punks
Goths
Butches
Trendies
Alternatives
Whatever... its inside that counts.. I don't have a type.. I love all women equally 
But seriously.. why limit yourself to only liking a certain look? you could be missing out on the love of your life, just cause she looks different to what you go for... its the way they make you feel.. not what they look like
Jai xxx
I am a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad grrl!
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southernsoftee
Member
Posts: 877
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 25th, 2004 11:29 PM IP
I completely agree Jai, that's the way everyone should think, unfortunately some don't. I, however, do. Would anyone buy a box of chocolates, just because it's nicely wrapped, when inside it could be horrible? lol
http://www.livejournal.com/users/southernsoftee/
http://www.GaydarGirls.com/southernsoftee
http://www.faceparty.com/southernsoftee
Hotmail Messenger: single_white_lesbian@hotmail.com
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My website:-
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Jai
Member
Posts: 132
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 26th, 2004 04:03 PM IP
To be totally honest... I never used to go out with femmes.. I dunno why.. I guess I had a hard time believing they were actually gay (yea, I know.. slap me now!)
Then I met this girl and she was this beautiful femme (still is), and I completely fell in love with the person that she was, and everything about her.. I mean we've been together and broken up twice already, but she changed my perspective on everything..
Jai xxx
[Edited by Jai]
[Edited by Jai]
I am a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad grrl!
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southernsoftee
Member
Posts: 877
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 26th, 2004 07:31 PM IP
I know what you mean, I have a love of my life too, and we've also been together and broke up twice. Maybe one day we will be together again, and won't split up lol. She's just gotta get rid of her current first, lol.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/southernsoftee/
http://www.GaydarGirls.com/southernsoftee
http://www.faceparty.com/southernsoftee
Hotmail Messenger: single_white_lesbian@hotmail.com
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My website:-
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Jai
Member
Posts: 132
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 27th, 2004 11:27 AM IP
Quote:
southernsoftee wrote:
I know what you mean, I have a love of my life too, and we've also been together and broke up twice. Maybe one day we will be together again, and won't split up lol. She's just gotta get rid of her current first, lol.
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Ditto lol.. It sux.. I (accidently) stole her off of that girl already, and now she is back with her, and its just like.. grr lol.. bloody women.. its almost enough to turn you straight! (actually.. no)
Jai xxx
I am a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad grrl!
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freakness
Member
Posts: 82
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 30th, 2004 01:25 PM IP
*FEELS BAD NOW*
look jai... ya know i'm sorry! :s
but i ain't going into this again, have been too many fights about this topic before... I LUV YA Jai*soft hug*
i never thought i'd like a butch girl, and i didn't really date a butch yet, so ...
to be honest, i thought butch girls are stupid, ugly, didn't even bother to look how they are on the inside. But then i met Jai, well, honestly, i had to change my opinion bout butch girls. I finally figured out it's what's on the inside that counts the most, i did some stuff i could have never thought i would do, made me so totally fell bad about how i used to think bout butch people...
*apologises*
HUGS
*sticks out tongue* i ain't telling
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Jai
Member
Posts: 132
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 30th, 2004 07:29 PM IP
Quote:
freakness wrote:
I LUV YA Jai*soft hug*
i never thought i'd like a butch girl, and i didn't really date a butch yet, so ...
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You better not go and go about datin other people when ur with Jan.. you better take care of my sweetheart girl !
Nah, I know you will.. and you do.. keep it up k .. look after her when I can't (omg, how depressing is this getting lol.. its like one of those really dodgy movies lol)
But if anyone can remember the SMA (baby milk stuff) advert:
Take good care of my baby,
Now don't you ever make her cry,
Just let your love surround her,
Paint a rainbow all around her
Don't let her see your cloudy skies.
Tada.. yea, I'm goin now
Jai xxx
I am a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad grrl!
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freakness
Member
Posts: 82
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 31st, 2004 01:05 PM IP
awww...
u sweet lil tease..
u know i'm always gonna take care of OUR sweetheart...
cuddles
xxx
*sticks out tongue* i ain't telling
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tarasheart
Member
Posts: 90
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted March 31st, 2004 01:17 PM IP
Hm, I so feel like I have to say something on this too...
Butch girls... Never met one actually, 'xcept for Jai. And heh, I love her. So yeah, ain't got anything against it, really. I always look at the inside of the person, don't care about the outside, 'cause as far as I know, that doesn't matter. You can have the most prettiest girl, but if she's a bitch, you won't stay with her, will ya? Well, I won't. I'd rather stay with someone who's sweet and caring and everything to be perfect as a person, than with someone who once was miss universe.
You know, I actually get so tired of all the lables people have to wear... I mean, loving girls (as a girl) makes you a lesbian, loving boys (as a girl) makes you straight, acting kinda boyish (as a girl) makes you butch, and then you have all the other things. Wtf is wrong with this planet. I hate those labels, I really do. I love a girl, so fuck that. That's it. I like being boyish, nothing wrong with that. It's the labels that give us the prejudgements, not being it.
[Edited by tarasheart]
Mss. Obvious: "Sarcasm is my middle name"
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southernsoftee
Member
Posts: 877
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 31st, 2004 09:10 PM IP
I'm a butch, so look like a tough nut (so i've been told) on the outside, but like most butch women, i'm a right softee on the inside, and it's all a front, lol. Appearances are disceptive, so like I always say, it IS the inside that counts, not the cover!
http://www.livejournal.com/users/southernsoftee/
http://www.GaydarGirls.com/southernsoftee
http://www.faceparty.com/southernsoftee
Hotmail Messenger: single_white_lesbian@hotmail.com
(don't email me via this account, purely used for Messenger only!)
My website:-
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/lisabennett1974/main.html
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Daffy
Member
Posts: 382
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 31st, 2004 09:18 PM IP
Nowt wrong with butch women.. been out with a few in my time, used to be one myself, then I went the other way and went femme for a while, now I'm just erm.. tomboyish I would say, although I can look femme when out.. and I make the effort hehe
Have to admit I love the femme woman, she doesn't have to be covered in make up or owt like that, but I like the femme looking woman.. give me a girl with a nice ass and I can purr all day  hehe
 
~ Slowly our lips met...Then she closed her legs and broke my glasses ~
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southernsoftee
Member
Posts: 877
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 31st, 2004 10:33 PM IP
I have to say I agree, I prefer femme or soft butch women, but not into heavy hard butch types.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/southernsoftee/
http://www.GaydarGirls.com/southernsoftee
http://www.faceparty.com/southernsoftee
Hotmail Messenger: single_white_lesbian@hotmail.com
(don't email me via this account, purely used for Messenger only!)
My website:-
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/lisabennett1974/main.html
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Daffy
Member
Posts: 382
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted March 31st, 2004 11:02 PM IP
Give me a femme that can dance and I go weak at the knee's lol Complete with drool and everything lol
~ Slowly our lips met...Then she closed her legs and broke my glasses ~
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picapica
Member
Posts: 282
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted April 6th, 2004 07:05 PM IP
Hi,
I think im a tomboy (thats the way i look at it, thought im called lots of other things!!) Ever since at least 12 years of age, ive dressed like a tomboy, climbed trees eaten worms.. For me its the way i feel comfortable, i feel like im me.. Not the person someone else want, but the person i am..
I was asked today what is my type.. I dont know, i look at the person... I get to know most of the people ive dated (yet to have a long relationship!!) throught the net, ive got to know them as a person.. So when i meet them i love them for who they are and the fact that most have be georg, helps but isnt the bee all and endall.. At the end of the day im a big softy, i work with animals all day.. nuff said!!
wicked bitch of the west, yehhaaaaaaa....
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southernsoftee
Member
Posts: 877
Registered: Feb 2004 |
Posted April 6th, 2004 10:19 PM IP
I think there is a test on http://quizilla.com/ that will give you that answer lol
http://www.livejournal.com/users/southernsoftee/
http://www.GaydarGirls.com/southernsoftee
http://www.faceparty.com/southernsoftee
Hotmail Messenger: single_white_lesbian@hotmail.com
(don't email me via this account, purely used for Messenger only!)
My website:-
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/lisabennett1974/main.html
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Vikki
Member
Posts: 10
Registered: Apr 2004 |
Posted April 23rd, 2004 12:01 AM IP
Hi, I totally agree with what your saying... but at which point do you class someone as being "butch" is it when they start wearing clothes that look or even are mens?? is it when they get there hair cut off?? You can take 2 women, give them the same hair cut, dress them the same, and one can look v.fem and the other can look not so... People could look at me and consider me "butch".. because i haven't got a female face, i haven't got as obvious characteristics as others have. In order to look fem i would probably have to wear make-up.. but i dont like it, so does that make me butch? im a natural looking person, and as i said you may think i'm "butch" but im v.fem, i jus have different ways of showing it! WHY should women have to enhance there looks in order to look fem??
http://excoboard.com/forums/2386/user/28950/49297.jpg
Single & looking - Kent
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Tiger_Gurl
Member
Posts: 59
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted April 28th, 2004 10:29 AM IP
Infact i am Femme - ss will confirm that as she seen a pic of me!!
infact will post my pic of me with my pink hair wen i am at home as i dont have it with me!
I would love to go out wiv a butch or femme - to the fact i would love them for who they are - people just see the outside of me and itch me cos they dont wanna see the inside of me!
I also dress in jeans and hoodies - thats is wat i feel comfortable in - altho i have ladies tops underneath they wont see it - and yea i am losing weight at the mo - so i think i might change my clothes into more femme - but i dunno how :-S
I look like a townie at the mo with me jeans and hoodie - well me bro diss me off cos i wear things like that - sighs i will neva get away from him!
Betta stop rambling!!!
Tiger_Gurl
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fay_bee
Member
Posts: 580
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted April 29th, 2004 02:41 PM IP
Butch!!! I'm not butch or fem i'm me, i don't think ppl go out there way to be one or the other its just the way they r, ppl say i'm butch the way i dress and other say i can't be i got long hair, I'm me thats all there is to it. If ppl r that shallow to look at the outside and not the inner you then thats their fault and need to get things right in their own head. I don't go for any type i go for the inner person ok everyone says that but i do have to find the person attractive but not a super model its my prospective of attractive and it may not be everyones taste. ok now i'm going on so leave it at that
msn : icklebaby1@hotmail.com
yahoo : fay_blades_uk
Homepage : www.gaydargirls.com/fay_bee
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sonjablue
Member
Posts: 564
Registered: Apr 2004 |
Posted April 29th, 2004 03:14 PM IP
*round of applause* for fay... I've never been a catagory lmao...and never will be...I've dated all sorts of women...butch, femme the whole lot of cliche names lol..its the person that counts not what the hell they look like...end of rambling...may edit later lmao
If u add coals to a fire u cause a flame
:P
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budli
Member
Posts: 40
Registered: Mar 2004 |
Posted May 24th, 2004 04:58 PM IP
butch is an identity- some women who id as butch- especially those who id as 'stone' or 'hard' butch - do not do so out of choice- it is for them simply who they are.
some butches id as 'masculine' & prefer masculine pronouns e.g. he, him- it isn't to say they necessarily want to be a man ,just feel they fall into the transgender , or third gender category. there is a large thriving butch-femme community worldwide & for those who fully understand the dynamics of such a cuopling would realise just how offensive it would be to read the thread starter's posting.
i am femme,not high femme,just femme- and likewise am attracted to butch- for me it is not that they look like a man- i'm gay ffs! but a whole power/attraction/energy/confidence vibe that a butch gives off.
for those who want to know more i suggest u check out www.butch-femme.com, read & learn! and check out the galleries too! some darn fine butches in there! '',
never sleep with anyone who is crazier than u
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EMZA
Member
Posts: 27
Registered: Jun 2004 |
Posted June 10th, 2004 05:39 PM IP
well i can be butch i can be fem, i am happy looking the way i am felt comfy in thats all that matters,
i wear a cap, trackies and a t-shirt .. oo dykey as they say i wear my hair up or down i look fem lol i cant win but i am just me!
º00ºEmZaº00º
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funky_lix
Member
Posts: 3
Registered: Jun 2004 |
Posted June 10th, 2004 05:43 PM IP
Yeah ok the person on the inside is what really counts but lets face it, who fucks or makes love with personality alone in mind? Everyone has their own sexual taste, people either fall within your boundaries or they dont; if you didnt have judgement how would you ever have preference?
Butch, femme, I really couldnt give a shit personally, at the end of the day, if I like you that much, those clothes will be ripped right off you. However, if you are fat, have bad teeth, dont shave or smell you can keep ANY sexual thoughts to yourself and we can start a friendship instead.
As for the 'whole power/attraction/energy/confidence vibe that a butch gives off', I know just as many femmes that do the same - none of those things can be owned by one identity.
[Edited by funky_lix]
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Gaygirlz :: :: News and Views :: It's a butch thing?
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